Finally!

After gaining gaining gaining for awhile I think my body has finally gotten the memo that we're losing weight now. That's right, calorie deficit and working out regularly equals losing the weight. Nothing dramatic or anything, just a consistent going down of the scale that's making me happy and feel like this isn't all for nothing. Just the other day I was feeling really discouraged because I have been so meticulous, but after weighing myself last night I had to remind myself that exercise and food changes usually take a couple of weeks to start showing up.

So, Body, keep up the good work. Eat that fat. And if you could concentrate on the bum and leave the boobs alone, I'd really appreciate it.

Scary Ad

I saw an ad on the Metro the other day that I found really disconcerting. I don't even remember what the ad was about, just that the woman in it was freakishly skinny. The ad showed her sitting in a chair with her laptop on her lap, her arms raised over her head in exuberance over something she saw on her laptop.

At first, I couldn't really figure out what it was about the ad that looked wrong to me. Then I realized how much her arms looked like sticks. Basically they were just her arm bones covered with skin. Then I noticed how her whole body only took up about half of a normal-sized chair. She was sitting in the center of the chair, with a quarter of the back showing past one shoulder, and another quarter next to the other shoulder.

Then I noticed the biggest problem: her torso was only a teensy bit wider than her head. This woman's body was basically the same width as her head! Does that strike anyone else as just absolutely wrong?

Is skinnier and skinnier becoming the norm in advertisements, TV and movies, or is it just me? Pretty soon we'll only see walking skeletons in the media. I think we're already seeing some of that.

Knowledge

Sometimes I hate knowing stuff. Sometimes knowing stuff does me no good. Like, for instance, today a little Googling revealed that a standard street corner soft pretzel is 390 calories.

My splurge day list keeps getting longer and longer.

Progress is Being Made

I feel like I’ve been doing pretty well lately. All last week I was very meticulous about recording everything I ate in my ediets nutritional tracker. Then I figured out the calories burned with my exercise, as well as my calorie deficit because I’m not eating 1800-1900 calories a day like I would need to in order to maintain my weight. Most days I had a calorie deficit ranging from 500-1000 calories (I just wasn’t that hungry on the -1000 calories day). As of last Wednesday I got to weigh myself from the 150 marker on the scale instead of the 200. I've been teetering at the 200 for a few weeks now.

This past weekend I moved all my stuff up to Boston. You can read all about the excursion on my other blog. So from Thursday afternoon on I wasn’t really keeping track of my food as meticulously. However, I was also hauling stuff around and stressed out in bad traffic and rain so I figure I probably didn’t do that bad. I did eat cookies on Monday night, but my ediets plan gives me a free day once a week.

Jason’s cat ate one of my Zone Perfect bars that I had brought for breakfast on Monday morning so I had to grab something to eat on my way to an interview. I got a corn muffin at Dunkin Donuts. Yes, I know, not the best choice. However, it was hot and muggy and I spent the afternoon unpacking boxes in no air conditioning, so, you know, it all works out. Right?

Yes, I know, excuses, excuses. However, last week I worked 50 hours in 3 ½ days and still managed to work out 3 times. Plus, I measured myself this morning and my hips have shrunk an inch. Yay! My boobs have also shrunk, but I’m ignoring that measurement.

Feel the Burn

I love this stuff. Today I found a Calories Burned Estimator online. You can enter in your weight and the minutes that you do various exercises in 5 minute increments and they give you calorie burn estimates for each activity. The site also has other calculators that are fun to play with too. Well, fun if you're not in total denial about what your actual body fat and BMI are.

Do you think my desk pedaler counts for anything? Like I said, my muscles are tingley afterwards, but I don't know if that's just due to circulation increase or if there's any aerobic activity going on. Pedaling warms me up and if I'm not freezing already, I may perspire a little. I was thinking maybe the Bicycling - leisure category on the estimator might work. Stationary Bicycle - moderate seems way too vigorous.

And how's this for making a positive step? I have no work to do right now because I ran out of documents to review. I told the attorneys yesterday morning that I would be out soon and one of them emailed me and said she would give me some more. Well, now I'm totally out and no sign of a new folder. So I emailed them all again to remind them, and now I've been here 2 hours and 15 minutes with no work. The work I do is boring, but it's even more boring to be here without anything to do.

But here's the positive part: instead of sitting on my ever-expanding bum, surfing the web, I went for a walk. Downtown DC is so quiet this early on a Saturday morning. Well, comparatively quiet. There's still a little traffic and a few major construction projects jackhammering away, but it's quieter than on a weekday at this time. I walked for 25 minutes, and from prior experience I know my moderately quick walk is about 3 mph. I plugged that into my little calculator and lo and behold I burned 165 calories. Nice.

One caveat with the calculator: I think it overestimates with the elliptical. I did 40 minutes last night on resistance level 6 and the machine said I burned 438 calories. The calculator says 40 minutes on the elliptical burns 688. That's a big difference, but I think I'm going to believe the machine more since it knows how fast I was going and what the incline was and how high I made the resistance.

New Toys

First off, I wound up buying the pedaler. This one, actually:
I love it. If you're stuck at a desk for a long time every day like I am, this is a great little thing to put under your desk. Make sure your desk is kind of high, though, because otherwise your knees might be hitting the bottom. I think once I'm not working here anymore, this will be great to have at home to pedal away while I'm watching TV. And then it can come with me to my next job.

It's very quiet overall, although the second day it started squeaking a little bit. I'm going to get some WD-40 to take care of it, but the squeaking usually stops after I pedal for a few minutes and the pedals lube themselves up. Another noise hazard: if you're wearing jeans and your thighs rub together (ahem), then there will be a constant swooshy sound of fabric rubbing against fabric. Not a problem if you have your own office, or if your officemate wears headphones, like mine does. I would think regular trousers wouldn't make as much noise. I know skirts are silent because I've worn a skirt the last 2 days.

I pedaled for an hour and a half yesterday, broken up into 3 chunks throughout the day. I don't know what it's doing for me aerobically, but I can tell it's getting my circulation going as my muscles are all tingly when I finish and I usually get warmer, which is quite nice since my office is freezing. If nothing else, it gives me a little boost and wakes me up a few times a day. I've already done a half hour today.

My other new toy is an online toy: I joined ediets again. I actually joined in Spring 2005 on Dr. Phil's food plan and really enjoyed having my meals all planned for me already. Plus the recipes were yummy! I got pretty adept at substituting for things I didn't like and wound up losing about 15 pounds (all gained back now. Sigh).

This time I joined Bill Phillips's Eating for Life plan. The days are broken up into 6 mini meals, which seem to work well with my metabolism. I don't get hungry in between meals so much and I think having my metabolism constantly running makes it more efficient. I get a free day once a week, but I'm going to do my best to still eat well for 3 out of 4 of those and stick to my one splurge day a month plan.

Unfortunately because of work and trying to cram in as many hours as I can, I just don't have the time to prepare the meals. We don't have a full kitchen at work, so I'm left to do the best I can for now. For that I am using the ediets Nutrition Tracker where I'm entering in everything I eat to keep track accurately. It's kind of fun. They have an exercise tracker too, so I'm using that as well, including my pedaling. Even though I can't prep the meals right now, I'm printing off the meal plan, recipes, and grocery list for each week so that I'll have a stockpile once I get back to Boston and can cook for real.

Last year it was only $12 a month to join, but I think this time I'm paying $16. However, from what I can tell from perusing the site, I have access to more things with my basic membership than I did last year. Ediets should really hire me for marketing because I have raved about them before.

Darn It!

I discovered Tom Ka soup yesterday as I made my way through the soup list at the local Asian take out spot. They have great hot and sour, mediocre wonton. So I gave it a go. Oh. My. Gosh. Heavenly.

I thought to myself, "There is no way something this delectable can be in any way good for me."

I just googled calories for it and they vary wildly. One site says there are 882 calories a serving, another says 241. Based on the nutrition facts I just read about coconut milk I'm inclined to believe the higher calorie counts. Darn. Guess I'll have to add Tom Ka to my splurge day list. And I was actually thinking about having some with some edamame tonight for dinner.

NRG

Just got back to work from the gym. Since I'm working insanely long hours (15.5 both Monday and Tuesday. Go me!) I've been going to the gym in the middle of the day for the last couple of days. I like going during the day because it gives me a nice break just when I think I'm going to fall over asleep with the afternoon lull.

I come back all fired up, usually with a fruit smoothie. I tend to get migraines sometimes if I work out vigorously and don't eat something right after. I learned last summer that fruit smoothies work great to keep my energy up and stave off the headaches. My dad and my grandpa both have type 2 diabetes and my blood sugar is a little wonky at times so I'll probably get it too (medically I'm like that side of the family - we all also had slight asthma as teenagers and are allergic to penicillin). I would like to put off the diabetes as long as possible. My thin grandpa was about 70 when he got it, whereas my overweight and sedentary dad was about 50. That's good motivation to get down to fighting weight and keep up my exercising.

How do you all keep your energy up when you have to do something boring and/or sedentary after you've gotten your endorphins flowing during a workout? Right now I feel great, but I know in a half hour or so I'm going to start coming down. I still have 4 1/2 hours of work to go and I need to keep that energy flowing.

Peddler

I'm thinking about getting a under the desk pedal exerciser. G, my co-worker, said it sounded gimmicky to her, but I can really see myself using it. Working 10-15 hours per day has me just about ready to jump out of my skin and I think being able to pedal away while I sit here reviewing documents would a) make me feel better about sitting on my bum all day, and b) stave off the crazy nervous energy jiggles.

Has anyone used one of these? What did you think?

Supplements?

What do you all think of supplements like chromium and such for weight loss? Do they do any good? Do they do any harm? I've read a lot of marketing hype, but that's marketing hype.

Whenever I get a Robek's smoothie, I always have them throw in a Trim-bek supplement for good measure, since it's free and all. According to the description, the Trim-bek contains:

Chromium and thermogenic herbs to increase metabolism & burn fat.

What do you think? Just hype?

Thursday 8/24

Breakfast: Stonyfield Farms FF yogurt (Berry Bash) with some Kashi mixed in for crunch.

Snack: 1 Cup of skim milk

Lunch: Hodge podge - salmon, mushroom and snow pea salad, chicken, and Korean sushi

Snack: Robek's Raspberry Romance

Dinner: 1/2 order of angel hair with tomatoes and garlic

Exercise: 30 minutes of weights, 40 minutes on elliptical

Wednesday 8/23

Breakfast: Sliced banana on 1 Cup of Kashi with 1 Cup skim milk

Snack: 90 calories worth of FF Pringles

Lunch: Leftover calamari in tomato and garlic and seafood salad appetizers, 2 rolls. Afterwards I felt a little sick to my stomach, proving that yes, you can have too much calamari.

Snack: Robek's Cranberry Quest smoothie with no sherbet (cranberry juice, blueberries, strawberries and FF frozen yogurt). Then later a 1/2 Cup skim milk*

Dinner: I'm meeting a friend at Chipotle and will be getting a Burrito Bol. I plan to get either steak or barbacoa, a smidge of rice, lettuce, a smidge of cheese, corn salsa, tomato salsa, green chile salsa, and a smidge of guacamole. Sounds good, no?

UPDATE: I wound up getting a salad, which was even better than the Bol because no rice and it was really yummy.


* What's up with the milk all the time, you ask? Well, according to all those dairy commercials, it's good for my tummy pudge. However, I'm not just a pawn in the marketing directors' plans. I really, really like milk. Also, I went to CVS to buy milk on Monday before they got their weekly delivery and all they had left were gallons. So I now have a gallon of mlk in the office fridge that has to be finished by Tuesday, per the expiration date.

Tuesday 8/22

Breakfast: 3/4 Cup low fat cottage cheese, purple grapes from the Fruit Guy

Snack: 1 cup of skim milk

Lunch: Hodge podge from upstairs - today I had chicken breast, a couple of tiny pieces of corned beef, mushroom and snow pea salad, cucumber slices, and 3 pieces of Korean sushi

Snack: 1/4 cup of skim milk, 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, and 100 calorie bag of popcorn

Dinner: A whole mix of Italian food. See, I wanted this calamari with garlic and tomatoes appetizer, but you have to order a certain amount for delivery and no one else wanted to order. I wound up with the calamari, a cold seafood salad appetizer, and angel hair with tomatoes and garlic in olive oil. I had a few bites of each dish and 2 of the rolls (not great, but oh well) and put the rest in the fridge. I'm pretty sure I have enough for lunch and dinner tomorrow and by then I'm sure I'll never ant to see calamari again.

Going to the gym in a bit for 30 minutes of weights and 40 minutes of elliptical.

2 Pounds

This morning I stepped on the scale and I am down 2 pounds. This is down from a high that I've reached in the last few weeks that has me curled up in an emotional fetal position and berating myself for my weakness and slovenly behavior. All of that hard work I did last summer, gone! All gone!

Logically I know there are many things to account for the 2 pounds. That time of the month. Water weight. Normal weight fluctuations from day to day.

But it has had the effect of uncurling me from the fetal position. Today I am sugar-free, caffeine-free, and 2 pounds lighter than I was yesterday morning. Today I feel that my back is straighter and I feel a little more peppy. I think part of it is relief to see the scale going down a little, and relief that what I'm doing is working, even if that's not the reason for the weight change. I feel more encouraged that by watching what I'm eating and by exercising - both weights and aerobic now - I can make this happen.

Last summer when I lost about 15 pounds, it always stunned me when I stepped on the scale and I registered a loss. I didn't feel any different really. I felt like I looked pretty good and knew that my jeans were down a size. But it took seeing the actual numerical change, and being told by friends that I looked good and that my arms looked really toned before I could see a difference in the mirror. In the mirror I always look the same - fat.

Monday 8/21

Breakfast: 1 cup of Kashi Go Lean crunch, 3/4 cup skim milk
Snack: 15 FF Pringles
Lunch: 2 sushi rolls and miso soup
Snack: Robek's Pomegranate Passion smoothie
Dinner: 1 Cup of white grape juice, PB&J on whole wheat

Workout: 30 minutes of weights, 35 minutes of elliptical. I was shooting for 40 minutes on the elliptical as usual, but at about 25 minutes, my head starting aching in a weird way right under my right eyebrow. When I slowed down it got a little better, but I didn't want to stop completely, so I pushed through to 35 minutes. I'm attributing it to my lack of caffeine yesterday and hope that tonight will be better.

If I want to, I could work out 5 times this week. I can't go Wednesday or Sunday, but I could go every other day. I think I'll plan for that, and then see what happens.

My Head Is A Little Foggy Right Now

I'm doing a caffeine detox. I am a big Diet Coke with Lime and Diet Dr. Pepper fan. I know it's not good for me, and it's actually been awhile since I've made the effort to get the caffeine out of my system. Yesterday I didn't have any Coke at the house, and I didn't want to go out and get some more, so I decided it would be a good time to just get the caffeine out of me.

Yesterday I was fine, but today I'm hurting. I don't have a migraine, but I do have this kind of blocked up feeling right behind my forehead. Kind of like that pressure when your head is stuffed up and you bend over to pick something up and suddenly it feels like your face is going to fall right off.

I am also really tired and I would love to have a Diet Coke and pep myself up a little, but I can't. I'll feel better tomorrow, I'm sure, but I really want some caffeine right now.

Single-Mindedness

While working a completely mindless and incredibly boring job, like I am right now, my day looks like this in my head:

Breakfast
Snack
Lunch
Snack
Dinner

After I eat breakfast at 7 I immediately start thinking about the 10 o'clock snack, and then lunch, and so on. I'm sure it's just my particular little obssession. If I was an alcoholic with nothing else to think about, maybe I'd be counting the minutes until I could have a drink.

I find that my thinking right now, when I'm in that place mentally where I'm geared up to lose weight, is structured around food in a more positive way. I think about what I can eat and estimate the calories and think about how I could add some fruit or vegetable into the mix and praise myself for eating whole wheat and for not eating sugar.

When I'm not feeling all peppy about the weight loss idea, my thoughts still focus on food during the day, but in a not so positive way. I think about how there's a chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake in the freezer and plan when exactly I will allow myself a decadent piece. If too early in the day then I use up the treat and wish later on that I'd waited. Maybe after dinner... But I will be having a piece, no question.

I think the moral of the story is, I need a more interesting job. But more importantly, I am off the sugar again. It's just way too easy for me to fall into the "Just a little bit here, just a little bit there" mentality where pretty soon I'm having lots of little bits all over the place. I work well under the splurge day regime - no refined sugar/corn syrup except for one day a month. I find after a few months I want less and less sugar. I can only eat a quarter or half a pint of Ben & Jerry's versus the whole thing. This is what I need to do to have any hope of losing weight.

Friday 8/18

I just have to say, my glutes (also known as my bum) are SORE! I love the "Look at me, I used weights" soreness.

Breakfast: 1 cup of Kashi Go Lean Crunch, 1 cup of skim milk, 1 tiny nectarine diced and thrown on top of the whole thing. Yum!

Snack: The rest of my green grapes from yesterday (probably 10 grapes) and 20 Fat Free Pringles. How cool is this? 15 FF Pringles are only 70 calories. I started doling myself out 30 and then thought 30 looked like an awful lot of Pringles. So I went back to 20. I know, I know. They're processed potato mess, but they're yummy! I haven't dedicated myself to being all-natural health food girl at this point, I'm just eating healthier.

Lunch: 1/2 a side order of lamb biryani. I could only eat a half order today. Apparently my stomach has decided to cooperate with my weight loss efforts and make me feel full more readily. 2 vegetable samosas.

Snack: 100 calorie bag of popcorn. I really wonder if the 100 calories is assuming ALL the kernels pop. It's a pretty tiny bag and I have a good 30 unpopped kernels generally, but I don't want to cook it anymore before then I'll burn what has popped and the only thing I hate worse than creamed spinach is burnt popcorn. 1 cup of white grape juice.

Dinner: Rest of the Biryani from lunch, half a PB&J on whole wheat.

Going to the gym for 20 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of elliptical. Maybe tonight I'll watch What Not To Wear. Whoever decided to put TV's in the machines is a GENIUS! I wish I could play a DVD, though, and forego the commercials. Ooo, maybe they should put Tivo in the machines too. You could sign up for a machine the day before and have it record something for you, then it will be all ready to go, sans commercials. Probably going a bit too far, yes? Probably making me look like a spoiled little girl, yes?

Thursday 8/17

• Breakfast: 1 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch with 1/2 cup skim milk; green grapes
• Snack: We had a meeting at 11 and I didn't get a snack beforehand
• Lunch: Small lamb briyani, chicken samosa, vegetable samosa
• Snack: 1/2 cup skim milk and 100 calorie bag of popcorn. Pop Secret has these 100 calorie bags of microwave popcorn. It's not a lot, but enough for a little snackie. What a great idea!
• Dinner: PB&J (with no sugar in either the PB or the J) on whole wheat. So sue me, I'm in a PB&J mood. Small cup of white grape juice.

I'm headed off to the gym now to do 20 minutes of weights and 40 minutes of elliptical. Ellipticalling always goes so much more quickly when I'm laughing my butt off to The Office.

Wednesday 8/16

Breakfast: Cottage cheese and red grapes
Snack: Cup of milk
Lunch: Spicy grilled chicken sandwich with caramelized onions and plaintains (from this place)
Snack: 2 servings of fat free Pringles (only 70 calories a serving! They should hire me for marketing. Yes, I realize it's highly processed, but they're yummy)
Dinner: 1/2 baked ziti entree leftover from Tuesday night dinner out with friends; 1/2 cup milk

20 minutes of weights
40 minutes of elliptical

I probably wrote about this already, but my gym has this great weight machine routine that a trainer helps you out with at first. There are 9 machines all in a row and the trainer gets you set up with the correct alignment. They write down all of your info on a card and keep it on file at the gym so you just grab your card and do your routine, knowing that you're setting up the machines properly for an optimal workout. One of my friends who is too in shape already for the likes of me told me that the routine did nothing for her, but I totally feel it. And I think I'll be feeling it most pointedly in my quads by tomorrow morning. It's the first time I've done weights in ages.

Fruit

Have I told you about the Fruit Guy? A few days a week a man with a table piled high with fruit comes and sets up shop outside of my office building. His prices are decent and the fruit is fresh and yummy all the time. I love coming into work and seeing him. I know I'll have good, fresh fruit for a couple of days at least. Ward off the scurvy and all.

This past weekend I ate crap most of the time. Friday I went to a wedding and had cake of course. Monday my boyfriend and I celebrated our one-year anniversary by going out for Korean food. Then we got low-fat frozen yogurt at this great little restaurant in Cambridge, although I think I negated the whole low-fat aspect when I requested mint chocolate with Oreos to be mixed in. Saturday and Sunday were just kind of losses as we grabbed whatever while we ran errands and such.

However, I'd like to point out that I spent about 6 or 7 hours cleaning Jason's new apartment on Monday. I'm actually still a little sore from that. He just got a large 2-bedroom and it's great, but when he took me there on Saturday I noted that it was filthy. Black gunk on the window panes filthy. So I volunteered to clean it on Monday when he would be at work. My motivations in this were twofold. For one, I can't be there when he moves from Boston to Providence in 2 weeks and I feel bad that I can't help with the move, so this is my way of helping. Two, since he's so busy I have a sneaking suspicion that the move in would have consisted of him just moving in on top of the filth. As someone who will be frequenting that apartment, I couldn't handle that thought because I am my mother's daughter and my mother is a hygiene freak.

So I cleaned. I don't know who the people are who lived there before, although based on the amount of long hair, I'm guessing they were girls, but I don't think they cleaned. Ever. I found Christmas tree needles all over the living room. Plus, I think one of them had a down comforter that exploded at some point because there were little feathers floating throughout all the rooms.

I didn't get to do everything I wanted, like totally wipe out all the kitchen cabinets and take off the grates and hose them down, but I did make it clean. The window panes are white again, as are the bathroom tiles. It just makes me feel more calm to be in there now that it's clean.

Of course, I do realize it will be mucked up again during the move in and consequent living, but I'm trying to encourage Jason to clean more regularly. For instance I bought some Soft Scrub and he was all indignant because he had some in Boston that he had told me to bring down. I pointed out that it didn't really matter since if he cleaned regularly, he would eventually use ALL the Soft Scrub. It's amazing how that works. He looked skeptical.

Sigh. I have to work on the whole "regular cleaning" idea with him.

I also need to work on the healthy eating thing with him because we eat crap when we're together. I KNOW how to eat healthy, it's just easier not to. We've both gained weight since we started dating. I'm hoping that his new place with more space where the kitchen stuff isn't all piled on top of itself will inspire me to cook more when we're together.

Plus, there's a Farmer's Market down the street from him every Saturday morning, I guess until it gets too cold. So we'll be able to get good vegetables and fruit.

Tuesday, 8/8

Breakfast: Fat free vanilla yogurt with low-fat granola (about 300 calories)

Snack: Kashi Go Lean bar (290 calories)

Lunch: Hodge podge - mushroom and snow pea salad, cucumbers, roast turkey breast, Korean sushi. I also got some steamed broccoli and cauliflower, but I didn't eat it because it tasted weird. This is the second time so regrettably I won't get that again. If I had to describe the flavor, I'd have to say it tasted like someone poured some perfume in the steamer water.

Snack: (Not healthy at all) A scoop of chocolate ice cream and a scoop of fat free raspberry sorbet. However, I paid for my gluttony by listening to the two skinny minnies talk about how much ice cream there was and how they were so done after eating half a scoop. This is as I was scraping my little cup to make sure I got all the chocolate. Sigh.

Dinner: Mixed seafood salad appetizer and calamari (fried, yes. But not a lot and actually very light). R, a co-worker, recommended this Italian place that she wanted to order from so I got two little appetizers. Yum!

Monday I also did 35 minutes on the elliptical.
Tuesday I did the elliptical for 1 hour. That's right, I rock.

Monday, August 7

So I took the weekend off because I was moving and basically I ate crap. I bought donuts and bagels for the friends who helped me move on Saturday and wound up eating 2 donuts and a bagel through the course of the day. I also got Taco Bell on Friday night because I was tired and knew I needed to just get home and pack, pack, pack. I hate to admit how much I like the Crunchwrap Supreme, but there it is.

Anyway, now that the move is over for now, I'm back on the wagon. Well, basically.

Breakfast: One blueberry pancake, 2 sausages, and a biscuit. Not so on the wagon, but it's not like I ate a standard IHOP breakfast. I think I had the equivalent of a quarter of an IHOP breakfast.

Snack: 1/2 a cup of milk (when I say half a cup, that's what I mean. I buy an 8 oz carton of skim at the restaurant upstairs and drink 4 ounces as a snackie)

Lunch: Hodge podge - today they had grilled salmon again. Yum! I also got a couple of pieces of their Korean sushi (my Korean friend at work knows what it's called, but I haven't had her spell it for me yet) and a yummy snowpea and mushroom salad

Snack: Nature Valley granola bar, 1/2 cup milk

Dinner: 6-inch Subway roast beef on wheat (not impressed with the roast beef. Will be getting turkey next time) and 6-inch Subway chicken teryaki

Not only that, but my backpack is next to my desk, packed with my gym clothes and water bottle and I am raring to go on the elliptical. I got my new Ryka sneakers the other day so I get to break those in today. I have a friend who works in marketing for Ryka and a couple of years ago I got a free pair of sneakers by answering questions in one of her marketing surveys. Nice, huh? I have loved them, but they are pretty worn out now. My eventual goal is to be skinny and rich enough to afford Ryka apparel because I've seen it in person and it is super-cute. Plus, I like the ethos of a sporting goods company geared solely toward women.

Thursday 8/3

Breakfast: 2 McDonald's fruit and yogurt parfaits minus the blueberries because they have a really strange texture
Snack: Cup of milk and a packet of sugar free hot chocolate
Lunch: Hodge podge. Today I got grilled salmon, steamed broccoli, and some spicy tofu
Dinner: Chopped salad from Corner Bakery. Probably not so great with the bacon and the bleu cheese, but I figure I cancelled those out with the fat-free dressing. That's how it works, right?

Wednesday

Breakfast: Slice of homemade mushroom quiche (made especially for me by a co-worker because she's fabulous and I love mushrooms)

Snack: Half a cup of milk

Lunch: Hodge podge from the diner upstairs. One of my co-workers named it hodge podge and the name stuck. They basically have a HUGE by-the-pound buffet selection that everyone in the neighborhood descends on at about noon. I got a little piece of duck and some shrimp and veggie stir fry and some hunan beef, heavy on the broccoli. I am so happy that work has decided to give us $10 toward lunch every day to use as we please. I can go up to the hodge podge and totally load up on broccoli, which I love, but which weighs an awful lot.

Snack: Um...I think I forgot. I was full from lunch.

Dinner: 6 inch Subway club on wheat with lettuce, pickles, oil and vinegar and salt and pepper; 6 inch chicken teryaki sandwich on wheat with lettuce. So happy about the after 4 PM deal at Subway. I can get a second 6 inch for 99 cents, which means dinner costs $5.04. Nice.

I am a teensy bit proud of myself because a couple of weeks ago in a moment of weakness I bought these decadent white chocolate amaretto wafer cookies at Whole Foods. I've eaten 2 of the 6 and last night was thinking about having one just because it sounded so good. But I wasn't hungry and it was late and I eventually just brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. Good on me, I say.

Reasons Why I Have Saddlebag Thighs

My co-worker, The Skinniest Girl In The World, just came in to chat and was complaining about how she was so overfull yesterday.

"I cut my hamburger into quarters," said TSGITW. "Then I ate one quarter and it was so good I said to myself, 'Well, maybe I'll eat one more quarter,' and it was all downhill from there.

She cut her hamburger into quarters? And then she thought one quarter was enough for a whole meal? And she was overfull from half a hamburger? Do I even live on the same planet as this girl?

Food

I'm going to try this whole accountability thing and see what I get:

Breakfast: Bagel and cream cheese. Full fat cream cheese because they had no low fat/fat free, but I did not use the whole packet.
Snack: Chips on the plane (I just got back from Boston this morning). Not healthy, although there were some pretzels involved. Pretzels can be healthy, right?
Lunch: Hodge podge mix from upstairs, consisting mostly of stri-fried shrimp and broccoli and a couple itty slices of corned beef.
Snack: Half a cup of skim milk. I wasn't really hungry, I just wanted a little something and figured that was relatively safe.
Dinner: 6-inch Subway club on wheat with oil and vinegar, lettuce and pickles, and 6-inch meatball on wheat. They have a whole buy one 6-inch get another for 99 cents after 4 PM. Nice.

Discovered

When I don't eat breakfast and I have something small for lunch it's really esy to justify a big huge mother dinner. Or when I eat no breakfast it's easy to gorge myself at lunch and then justify not eating any or little dinner. This does not for healthy eating make and I can feel it in th snugness of my jeans. Sadness.

This coming week I have to spend every spare second in the evening packing for my move on Saturday. However, next week I'm getting back on the elliptical bandwagon. As easy as it is to say I don't really care, the truth is I DO care. I hate the way I feel when I eat badly and don't work out. I hate knowing that I'm not getting smaller anymore. So I guess I'm back on the wagon.

Shopping

Explain this to me. Same store.

First item: size 12 dress with cardigan. Looks like a dumpy sack on me, thrillingly thinking I need a 10 (which they don't have).

Second item: size 16 skirt. Too tight on my bum to zip up.

Seriously, people, could we get some consistency with the sizing?

Last Week

Thursday: 50 minutes of elliptical
Friday: 45 minutes of elliptical
Saturday: 50 minutes of elliptical

Food all week long: Meh. Nothing earth-shatteringly bad, but nothing really great either. Although I took a positive step and bought some strawberries and peaches at Whole Foods on Saturday. Yum!

Darn You, Wendy's!

FYI, don't go to Wendy's on K between 17th and 18th. They put hair in their food.

Ewwwww!

There it was, right smack dab in the middle of my favorite salad. Where else but Wendy's can you get a yummy salad for less than $5? The Mandarin Chicken Salad is perfection, as far as I am concerned. Very minimalist. None of these cherry tomatoes or onions or peppers gunking up the works. Yes, I know, lots of people like cherry tomatoes and onions and peppers, but I don't. It's like the salad was tailor-made for me. Just lettuce, mandarin oranges, almond slivers and sesame sticks with a yummy Asian-esque dressing.

Not to mention that Wendy's is my favorite fast food place. I love the Frosties and the fries when I'm bad, the salads when I'm good. If they ever brought back the Chicken Caesar Pita I think I'd cry with joy. And now the Wendy's near work is ruined for me. Ruined!

Hmph!

Where Have I Been?

I think the status of this blog kind of reflects the status of my whole weight loss endeavor. As of late the issue of weight loss has garnered nothing more than a big fat, "Meh" from me. I mean, I still look at my overly-rounded body and cellulite and wish it would all just go away, but I'm not feeling all inspired anymore to make it happen.

I worked out 3 times this week and since I'm in Boston for the rest of the week that will be it, unless we go swimming at Walden Pond, which I'm trying to talk Jason into doing, in which case if I swim around a whole bunch maybe I can count that as a smidge of exercise. I worked out 2 times last week because I was out of town until mid-week and then had to work a lot to make up hours. I plan to work out 4 or 5 times next week.

Of couse, considering it's supposed to be something insane like 110 heat-indexed degrees in Boston on Sunday and Jason has no AC, I may just be sweating off all my excess weight this weekend.

I really do like the working out, particularly on the evenings when TBS is showing two episodes of Friends and I completely lose track of how long I've been ellipticalling because it's the one where everyone finds out about Monica and Chandler and Phoebe cracks me up. I lke the endorphins. I like feeling fit and achey and powered-up and exhausted to the core in that great post-workout way.

However, my desire to eat heatlhy is just not there right now. I've been eating sushi and salads for dinner and cutting way back on the carbs (like eating the buld-your-own barbecue chicken sandwich provided by the caterer at work with no bun and only a smidge of barbecue sauce). However, I've also snagged a corner of a brownie here and there just because they look good and I have the munchies and I'm bored bored bored at work. On the days when I'm out and about running errands or being social with friends, I don't even realize when I haven't eaten. All of a sudden my stomach is growling lke crazy and it occurs to me that on a normal day I would have eaten three hours earlier.

Usually during the summer I am all about the fruit and the veggies and the healthy eating because it's all light and cool and lovely for the summer months. I want hearty/fattening foods more during the winter when I'm all wrapped up in bulky sweaters and coats anyway. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by air conditioning all the time now, both at work and at home, that the desire to keep my food light and fresh isn't there this year.

Or maybe I'm just bored and unmotivated with it all. I know I will never be a size 6. Today at Ann Taylor Loft I bought 2 medium shirts. I bought a size 14 skirt at Old Navy and one at H&M. There is a large part of my brain that is thinking that here I am, almost 30, needing to find some direction in my life career-wise, and I feel like maybe this really is the best I can do with my body because I'm just feeling tired of it all. Maybe my thighs will always be cellulitey and I'll always be trying to hide my stomach roll. I haven't been satisfied with my body since I was 10 years old. So basically I've been beating myself up about how I look for two-thirds of my life.

That's a lot of energy I've devoted to feeling crappy about myself.

Maybe I need to shift my focus. I like working out. I don't like bingeing on bad food. Well, that's kind of a lie. I like it WHILE I'm eating that half a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Afterwards I'm not so thrilled. So maybe for right now, while I'm working my boring job and am never at home to prepare a meal and am moving in two weeks, maybe I need to just go to the gym and eat well and not beat myself up for every little slip-up, imagining each bite of ice cream attaching itself visibly to my hips like in those Nutri Grain bar commercials.

My waist measures less than 35 inches and I have a low resting heart rate (54-60) so I'm not really concerned about my heart-health. I know that I am muscley so if I was just solely flab I'd probably weigh 10-20 pounds less than I do. Maybe not that much, but less anyway.

I need to figure out a way to be healthy and to not be mad at myself for my unhealthy moments. I need to figure out how to be healthy without it feeling like such a chore. I need to figure out a way to avoid the brownie when I'm bored in my office and my little brain decides to focus on the brownie calling to me from the kitchen (or the Frosty calling to me from Wendy's).

New Favorite Thing

My new favorite thing in the world, at 160 calories per little plastic cup, is the McDonald's Fruit and Yogurt Parfait. It's so yummy! And only one dollar!

I was thinking that I could do this so much easier and cheaper myself. Get some Stonyfield Farms yogurt (my favorite now that I can't ever find Alta Dena anywhere, which is sweetened with fruit juice), some low fat granola or Grap Nuts, and some fresh or frozen fruit. Voila! If I ever actually make it to a grocery store, because I work 12-hour days this week and am going out of town this weekend, I'll have to pick up my own mixings for this concoction.

One complaint: the blueberries have kind of a funky texture. The strawberries are great though.

Wise Guy

I scurried over to the nearby Asian restaurant tonight, anticipating the sushi and miso soup I ordered for dinner. I order from this place almost every night because the agency gives us money for dinner, it's right near work, and did I mention they have SUSHI?

When I got back to work I opened my little paper bag to find 2 sets of chopsticks on top of my faux Asian plastic sushi container. Um, are they trying to tell me something? Because, seriously, of all the stuff I've ordered from there, sushi is the least of my worries.

Weight

My weight is the same, but my body fat is down 2.8%. So that's good, right?

The Snacking Monster

Um, hi. Remember me?

I keep meaning to post to this blog but I'm feeling more tired than fired up lately about weight loss. Mostly because I can't seem to stop the snacking. See, I'm working an incredibly boring job for 12-14 hours a day and the urge to snack kicks in fairly often. Usually I can stave it off or pop some gum in my mouth. Sometimes I give in and have a healthy snack - some nuts, wasabi peas, or a piece of fruit. But the truth is I'm sitting on my butt 12-14 hours a day and I just want to nibble.

I have been working out. I got knocked out by a cold last week, but I'm back and better than ever. This week I've ellipticalled for 50 minutes 3 nights in a row already.

But in reality the pounds just aren't dropping off like they should be, or like they were this time last year. It's frustrating. Sedentary days and the urge to snack can't be warded off by a burst of exercise every night it seems. I leave for Vegas tomorrow and - sigh - I haven't made my goal.

What do you do when the snacking urge hits, realizing I don't have the option of getting up from my desk because I have to sit here and review these documents?

Ego Boost

Today a random woman at work told me she noticed that I'm getting more slender. She made a little motion with her hands indicating how my waist is getting smaller. Hurrah!

My weight is up from the low 193.6, but it is that time of the month. I wonder how much my weight fluctuates from day 1 to day 6 of my period, and from day 6 of my period to day 1 eve the following month? I'll have to try to weigh myself every day and take note. My second rationalization is that I know that my body is getting more muscley, which weighs more. I'm trying not to let the scale numbers rule my world and remember that my jeans are looser, my shirts are definitely looser, my tummy is flatter, and my triceps are getting awesome.

One Reason It's Good the AC Went Out At Work

I walked into a sauna this morning. 81 degrees and who knows how much humidity in our lovely basement workspace with minimal ventilation. At about 11 AM I finally gave up on the nicer clothes and changed into my gym clothes because they are infinitely cooler. Well all the heat and the humidity and the sitting like a pretzel in my chair has resulted in my pants getting totally stretched out. I'm having to tie the drawstring super tight to keep them from sliding too far down my hips. They won't slide off completely because, as you'll remember, I have a bootay. But even though I know there are logical reasons for the pants being so baggy, it still makes me feel thinner.

Also, I think my appetite is diminishing a bit. I bought 2 empanadas for dinner tonight just like I did 2 weeks ago, but tonight I could only eat one of them. The beef curry one is now in the fridge. I've noticed over the last few days that I'm just not eating as much in general. Half a sandwich and a small bowl of fruit salad for lunch yesterday and I was stuffed. So that's good. Now it's off to the gym and my favorite elliptical and hopefully something good on TV.

To Each His (or Her) Own

A little bit ago JJ* made the comment that "real men like women with a little meat on their bones." Aw, that's nice, JJ.

Then D, the pissy guy with a critique of everything, whipped around and said "Uh, I disagree with you 100%."

As a curvy, nay, chubby, woman I felt a little put out. His attitude explains why yesterday when I was laughing with my friend M about the bike messengers in Farragut Square being all up in my biznass as I walked by, D whipped around (he tends to whip around and butt into conversations a lot, huh?) and said, "Whatever, they probably just make comments to everyone who walks by." Well, yes, that may be true, but I think his comment today explains why he was so amazed at the idea of ANYone finding ME attractive.

Upon reflection, though, I have to say that I'm not attracted AT ALL to pastey, skinny guys. Three guesses as to who's a pastey, skinny guy?**

I guess we all have our preferences.


* JJ is not to be confused with J, my very gay, very awesome gym buddy.

** Of course, he's not really on my good list anyway based on his general aura of pissiness and his insistence yesterday on reading an anti-Indian joke right in front of A, who is Indian. As soon as the word "Hindu" crossed his lips, I asked him if it was an anti-Indian joke. He said, "Yeah, but it's really funny." I said, "You might want to think before you speak, D." He said, "Can I read it anyway?" I said, "No."

Really? He thinks this is appropriate behavior?

So Unfair...

Pardon me for a little whine. Why is it that metabolisms are so diverse? I've been working out, I've been not eating sugar and trying to eat decently overall, and slowly the pounds will start to come off, and then inch back up again in the blink of the eye - like if I happen to eat something salty the night before. Oh heaven forbid I have some sodium! Water retention - eek!

Then there's the girl who sits a few seats down from me. She's thin, and has a nice figure. She munches throughout the day, never works out, and just now came back with some frozen custard from down the street and I guarantee it will never show up on her body. She's in her late 30's so I'm pretty sure this is the metabolism she will have for some time.

So unfair.

I Heart the Elliptical

Last night I tried out going to the gym after work to see how it felt. I really missed breaking up the middle of my day, but it was nice to leave work and not have to come back and also to not have to shower at the gym and also to be able to work out as long as I wanted without feeling crunched for time.

I went with A and she pushed me past my comfort zone, which is always good. We were ellipticalling across from one another and when I finished she said she had 5 more minutes. Then she looked at me standing there and said, "Keep going. Come on, get going!" So I did. Last night I did 50 minutes on the elliptical.

Afterwards we went over to the mat and A showed me her ab routine, which was great and painful. I was proud of myself because I kept up with her on all except for one of the exercises, where she did 15 and I did 12. Must be all those years of swimming. They kept my abs pretty strong, even under all the current flabbiness.

Then I went and ate something that probably wasn't the best, but man was it good! There's an empanada place next to the gym and everyone at work has been raving about it. So after my workout, I was ravenous (it was 9 PM by this point) and I got a Chilean (curry beef and veggies) and a Vegetarian (sweet potato, onion, cabbage and chick peas). All wrapped in a very bad, very high-carb shell. It was fantastic! Plus don't they say after you work out that you're still burning calories for awhile?

I meant to weigh myself this morning because I'm going out of town and won't be able to do my Sunday weigh-in. But this morning I stumbled around in a sleepy stupor and finished up packing and completely forgot. However, I know something good is happening.

Exhibit A - my size 16 stretch bootcut jeans are getting looser, and my size 14 relaxed fit jeans are super baggy by the end of the day. Soon I'll be able to fit back into my 14 stretch bootcuts, that, frankly, make me feel hot.

Exhibit B - my dress slacks are getting baggy again. When I bought them a couple of years ago, they fit perfectly. After losing weight last year, they were really baggy, but as I gained back some of the weight they started to fit perfectly again. So sure, I looked nice, but I would rather have looked nice in the next size down. Thay're getting baggy again and I am so happy.

Bootylicious

As I was walking to the smoothie store this afternoon for my daily fruit overdose, one of the bike messengers in Farragut Square expressed his appreciation of my bum. Actually, I think it went along the lines of "D**n, white girl! Is all that a** yours! Mm!" I had a hard time waiting to pass by him before I started laughing. Yeah, I know I'm bootylicious. Always have been, and always will be. Even when I was a size 7 way back when in the foggy recesses of my memory I still had a disproportionately large bum to contend with when shopping for clothes.

My Nana called it The Puckett (her maiden name) Butt . She had it too. My aunt has it. I have it. I really used to hate my bum a lot. My mom always told me that someday I would meet a guy who thought my bum was cute. She was right. Actually, I've met several. However, it's only recently that I've come to appreciate how to play up my little waist and big bum to their greatest advantages. Yeah, I know I still have a bunch of weight to lose. But that doesn't mean I can embrace my bootyliciousness and feel sexy in the meantime.

******

After all of my smack talk yesterday, I may end up losing the bet this week. I have to work out Monday through Thursday this week in order to get in my 4 days because I'm going to Boston Friday night and won't be back until Tuesday morning. Well, today I am feeling so, so dead. I have a headache that won't let go. I may just need to go home, curl up in front of the TV and watch the Lost season finale in my PJs, rather than heading to the gym right after work like I was thinking of doing. My smoothie fruit burst is helping me feel a little better, so we'll have to see how I feel when 7 PM rolls around.

We Won!

J came in this morning and confessed to A and me that he had lost the bet. He'd set the goal of going to the gym 5 times a week, and last week he only made it 3 times.

Wow, knocked out in the first week. I told him how I had been so tired yesterday, but I went to the gym anyway because otherwise I wouldn't get in my 4 times this week and if I lost this early in our bet, I would be a big LOSER.

As A says, "Would you like some butter for that burn?"

So J will be taking us to Thaiphoon probably next week or the week after. Our bet has started up again, with J re-setting his goal at 4 a week. I'm still at 4 and A is at 3. I think A should have to do extra push-ups or something, but we're just trying to motivate one another, not make each other do something we don't want to do.

It's very handy that I've just started going to the gym and showering at the gym every day because my shower is falling out of the wall at home. There's a big leak there that's been there for years apparently. All of the drywall has rotted away behind the tiles (they were staying up by sheer will power I guess), and the water finally started leaking down on the neighbors below, which is how all of this was discovered. A plumber will be messing about in my bathroom in the coming weeks. I'm just glad I have the gym shower as an alternative.

As for last week, I did work out 4 times, but I can't think what days. I think Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, although I'm not positive. I know I went 4 times though, and that's all that matters. I've upped my elliptical time to 45 minutes, which feels really good and kind of hurts in that great muscle achey way. I was going to start doing weights this week, but when I get to the gym all I want to do is hop on the elliptical and stride all my tension and tiredness away. Since I have to get back to work afterwards, I'm kind of restricted as to what I can do with regard to time. Next week I'll try to add on the weights.

Check In

I'm down another 1.6 pounds this week. Yay! Plus, on Friday a woman at work (who is also doing her own weight loss thing so we commiserate) told me I'm looking good and I definitely look like I'm losing. All I know right now is that I feel better, and, really, that's what I'm shooting for. Well, that and a nice bum.

I didn't measure this week because Jason was in town and I didn't feel like doing all the tape measure machinations when I could be cuddling with him. He doesn't really get the whole measuring thing. I told him last week that I had lost 3 inches and he asked, "What do you mean? Around your waist or what?" I tried to explain that I meant all over. That in itsy little increments I had managed to lose 3 inches from all over various bits of my body and that it was a good thing because it meant I was toning up some. I think the concept was lost on him, but I know that it matters and that I've lost 2.5 inches total off of my waist and hips and I'm really happy about that.

Rockin' the Walkin'

Last summer when I was studying for the Bar, I discovered that stress is a very effective exercise motivator. I broke my own personal times for my distance swimming practically every day as the Bar drew closer.

Now I'm working this job that while benign on the surface, is seething with underlying issues that I am required to deal with as the team leader. Every day there are at least 4 little fires that I have to put out, in addition to keeping an eye on supplies, making sure everything runs smoothly for lunch, and dealing with the major personality conflict issues in my room. Not to mention fending off surreptitious assaults by this person on the project who seems to be gunning for my job.

The last couple of days the gym has been my oasis. I have ellipticalled like crazy at the gym for 45 minutes, and then found excuses to run out on little errands here and there for office supplies, or to pick up dinner. I'm still wearing my pedometer and today so far I've managed over 14,000 steps (and the pedometer counts kind of slow when I am on the elliptical, so in reality it's probably closer to 16,000). Plus I'm doing mad speed and burning mad calories on the elliptical.

I figure by the time this job is over at the end of the summer, I may have a few more gray hairs, but with any luck my bum will be hot stuff.

Locker Room Etiquette

So while I'm not completely comfortable with the naked women prancing around the dressing room at the gym, I can deal with that. However, could the lady sitting on the bench that everyone uses please put a towel down in between her bum and the bench? Thank you very much.

Stats

I haven't had a chance to update my stats in a few weeks so imagine my disappointment when I weighed myself and I had only lost one pound. Boo. However, that was tempered by the fact that I've lost a little more than 3 inches in the past few weeks. Woo hoo!

Last week's workouts:
Monday - 20 minutes of weights, 20 minutes on the elliptical
Tuesday - 30 minutes on the elliptical
Wednesday - 3 mile walk
Thursday - 35 minutes on the elliptical

I was going to go to the gym yesterday, but after working 13 hours on Friday, I was just bone tired. However, the bet between me, A and J starts this week, so I'll be at the gym at least 4 times a week from now on.

Someone Ate My Entire Pie!

Because I listen to my iPod while I'm coding documents at work, I've become progressively more sick and tired of the majority of my music. I can't sit here and code in silence, though. That would drive me nuts. So last weekend I went on a podcast search and discovered the wealth of podcasts that is npr.org. Not only do they have podcasts of Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me, which my dad and I used to listen to while running errands on the weekends, but they have topical podcasts as well.

For instance, this morning I was listening to a medical call-in show out of Monterey, CA, and heard an interesting snippet about rimonabant, a cannabinoid blocker that supposedly helps with weight loss. That's right, cannabinoid - as in, cannabis. As in pot. (And now I've just opened myself up to all sorts of crazy google hits).

Apparently researchers noticed that when you smoke pot, you get the munchies. You don't say. I've never smoked pot myself (and I'm not just saying that in a Clinton, I never inhaled kind of way, although I have been around it and have determined that the whole "contact high" thing is not true at all), but everyone knows about the munchies. So the researchers thought, "I wonder why that happens?" because they're researchers and they get grants and things for thinking like that. They determined that we have receptors in our brains that respond to pot in a way that makes us hungry.

So they tried to figure out how to block the aptly named cannabinoid receptors and came up with rimonabant. Not only did the subjects lose weight, but they also had better cholesterol and insulin levels than people who lost the same amount of weight without rimonabant.

Of course there are side effects, and if the subjects were taken off the drug, they tended to re-gain, but I wonder if this could be a serious option for severely obese people who don't necessarily want to go the surgery route. I also wonder if the drug is taken in conjunction with a food and exercise plan, that the good habits developed would maintain the weight loss after the individual stops taking the drug.

Walkies

Saturday I bought myself a pedometer. Although there are some negative reviews on Amazon, I quite like it. For one, it keeps track of all sorts of stuff: steps, distance, calories. Two, I don't think it's that hard to use (like some reviewers thought), you just have to be willing to read through the instructions and get it set up. Three, it's teeny-tiny and clips on my waistband very easily and is not obvious at all. Well except I keep raising the hem of my shirt to show people at work because I think it's so nifty. One of my co-workers is jealous and may get one herself.

I've actually wanted a pedomenter for a long time. I like the idea of tracking my movement throughout the day to see what I'm doing, even when I'm basically sitting at a desk for 12 hours. Apparently 10,000 steps a day is a good goal for overall health. Yesterday I walked 11,600. Woo hoo.

Plus,I've been to the gym both yesterday and today. I have the sore triceps to prove it.

3x

After signing up on Tuesday, I went to the gym Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I'm wrapping up my 70-hour work week and, no, I won't be going to the gym today. Me and two of my co-workers joined this gym and we're starting a challenge. J wants to go 5 times a week, I want to go at least 4, and A wants to go 3. Whoever doesn't make their number has to take the others out to dinner. The challenge is on starting next week since we all just signed up this week.

Working out has been a great way to break up my 12-hour days. Wake up at 5:45 AM, get to work at 7 AM, go to the gym from 3:00-4:30 PM, come back and work until 8:30. Then I take the train home and fall down on the floor asleep at 10:30 or 11. No, actually I usually make it to the bed. Working out gives me that push to get through the rest of my work day doing the most mind-numbing work in the world (document review). I'm very, very glad to have a job, but I will be even gladder when I find a real job.

So far I've been doing the elliptical at the gym. My calves have been yelling at me since I started, not understanding this exertion I'm asking of them. I love the elliptical. Someday I'd really like to buy my own and be able to work out whenever and without having to traipse to the gym. Someday if I ever live somewhere for more than a few months.

My gym has a program at certain times of the day where you can have a trainer get you set up on all of the weight machines. I've done them all before, but it would be nice to get a precise program for myself and know exactly where I should be putting the seat, etc. I tried to do this Friday, but the trainer didn't stay as long as he was supposed to. I didn't know this and in my attempt to find someone to help me, I bumped into the sales rep who signed me up on Tuesday. He looked for the guy and then told me that since he was gone, that I should come back on Monday and he would personally set me up with the training manager to give me a special session. Nice!

All in all, I like the gym, except for there's no changing room for getting dressed after my shower. My co-worker A and I have discussed at length how it's great that some women are so comfortable prancing around naked, but we do not fall into that category. And she's a teeny person, so apparently this isn't just an effect of my extra poundage.

When I told Jason about the women prancing around naked in the locker room he asked, "And how can I get in on this?"

The Long Hours and the Gym

Well, I'm on my 3rd 12-hour day. I worked 10 hours Monday because I flew in from Boston, but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday have been 12 hours. I don't know if I can keep up 72 hours a week consistently, but maybe I can do a couple of 72-hour weeks, followed by one 60-hour week for a break. Who ever thought 60 hours would be a break?

I had my splurge day for May a little early. Today. It's only been about 4 days since my April splurge day and it's only the 3rd day of May! Usually with our catered lunch we get lots of different desserts and after the first few days of that I discovered it was very easy to turn my nose up at them and feel good about myself for resisting. I snagged a few of them at the end of last week and nibbled at them on my splurge day during the 24 hours between Saturday night and Sunday night. You know what I discovered? They're not all that. It was just my crazy, sugar-hyped brain that told me the kind of bland chocolate chip cookie bar was absolutely what I needed more than anything else ever in the world. Though I also had some Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint ice cream on Saturday night and that was totally worth it.

Today at work as a little treat the staffing agency brought in a vendor who made fresh little waffle dishes and put ice cream and a myriad of toppings on them. When I first heard this would be happening I was bound and determined to not have any. But seriously, how often does this happen? Um, never. Plus, ice cream is my Achilles heel. I can resist most any sweet, but ice cream is ALWAYS a temptation. (If Baskin Robbins ever reintroduced Chocolate Raspberry Truffle I'd be a goner).

So I had a little waffle dish with two scoops of very rich chocolate ice cream, a little brownie square, bananas and chocolate sprinkles. And it was good. SO good.

But no more sugar for the month of May!

I also joined the gym on Tuesday and I worked out yesterday and today in the middle of my workday. Go me!

Comments

So I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I've changed my comments settings to only allow registered users to comment. I had a run in with a troll, and, like a dummy, I took the bait and responded to her/his criticisms. My response resulted in another nasty comment. So I just deleted the whole chain and was then criticized for not backing up my words and for only needing positive feedback because I'm so insecure.

Whatever.

Basically, I just don't like the antagonism and the meanness. I started my other blog to keep up with friends and family and just to talk about what's going on in my life. I started this blog to be accountable for my weight loss efforts. Basically, I do the best I can in my life, just like everyone, and I am just tired of trolls hiding behind the cloak of anonymity.

You can always email me if you want to make a comment, but don't want to register. But if someone is just mean for no reason, I'm not falling to that level anymore, so don't expect a reply.

Gym?

So I may be joining a gym downtown. Here's the thing: in an effort to make the original deadline on this project, the firm has upped our possible hours to 105 per week. For those of you wondering, that's 15 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Yeah, we won't be doing that. And when I say "we" I mean "I".

However, I would like to try to make 72 hours - 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. If the job does end on June 1 like they're shooting for, I need to save save save for my move back to Boston and to pay off debt and to live and such. The problem with working, say, 7 AM to 7 PM is that I'll be famished and tired when I get home and may want to punch Denise Austin's perky self, even as I feel dissatisfied with the workout she's giving me.

So this guy I work with went to check out a nearby gym this afternoon. He came back raving about the sign-up deal they have going on right now. I called the rep and set up an appointment to meet with him tomorrow.

If I join the gym my plan would be to be at work from 7 AM to 8 PM and to take an hour off at around 3 PM to go work out. Then the endorphins will keep me going until 8 PM when I will go home and collapse on my bed for a good night's sleep. Good plan, yes?

Another plus is that the gym corporation owns several clubs in Boston too so I could probably just transfer up there when I move (which is something I'll find out tomorrow). I'm excited about the possibility of getting in a regular afternoon workout and being able to mix it up and keep myself continually challenged. Plus it will get me out of this basement office for an hour a day.

Plateau

I think it's a bad sign when you plateau with your workout regime only 3 weeks in. Actually, I'm just having issues with the aerobics. Denise Austin's strength training is still good for me, as evidenced today by my sore pectorals (or boobies if you want to get all technical about it) and bum. I am a weakling. Particularly my arms. I can't even do a couple of the exercises that are ostensibly for the abs because they require significant arm balancing and my arms aren't strong enough yet to hold all of me up for the time she requires.

However, I've passed the point where I feel like my heart rate is up high enough for long enough during the aerobics. To compensate I've been jogging in place during the commercials. And because the jogging in place feels good I find myself thinking crazy, CRAZY thoughts like "Huh, maybe I'd like running after all. I'd get to be outside too..." No, NO. Smack down those crazy thoughts, Kelly! I also realize jogging in place in NO WAY represents actual running and I tell my crazy brain this and she generally shuts up.

So any suggestions other than the aforementioned jogging in place to keep my heart rate up for longer? Actually Denise has some Tae Bo moves she does that I love and they usually get my heart pumping. Maybe I can just substitute those even when the routine for the day is the step-together with the arms swinging thing that she likes so much.

Honey We're Killing the Kids

I've watched a couple of episodes of Honey We're Killing the Kids on TLC and I have some thoughts.

First of all, I think the basic idea is great. Show parents how their kids will look at age 40 if they keep eating and living in their current manner. Usually the kids (which have been all boys so far) wind up looking like thugs at 40. Chubby thugs.

Then the family is guided by a nutritionist for 3 weeks and given 3 new rules each week that center on eating habits, exercise, de-stressing, and cutting down on TV, video games and other sedentary activities. Other rules are tailored to the particular family. For instance, both parents in one family needed to stop smoking. In another family the two older kids were sent to etiquette class because they were so rude to their parents.

They also do try to take care of the parents some. In the last show I watched the mom received a session with a personal trainer and found a renewed interest in exercise. I thought that was a very positive change in her life.

I have had a problem so far with the meals the nutritionist gives the families. On the first show, the first meal was paella. Expensive, complicated, and containing lots of seafood that the family had never tried before. On the second show the first meal was tofu stir-fry. Either one of those meals sound great to me. However, I think giving these complicated meals that generally require a more sophisticated palate to families with young children used to lots of simple junk food is unrealistic if they're expecting the changes to stick. Has the nutritionist never heard of a chicken breast?

For breakfast one morning one of the families ate plain oatmeal. Have you ever eaten plain oatmeal? It tastes like cardboard. How about some cinnamon, a couple of raisins, real maple syrup, a little honey, maybe a touch of Splenda. SOMETHING that would make it so these kids didn't loathe the word "oatmeal" for the rest of their lives.

Most food plans you read about or hear of will tell you right off that you will never change your habits permanently if you try to eat stuff that you don't like or that is completely unrealistic for your lifestyle. It's just too easy to fall back on fast food or convenient snacks if the food is complicated and doesn't taste good. I think tofu stir-fry is definitely something most familes would need to ease into, particularly most families who haven't seen a green vegetable in months. There are very simple, tastey ways to eat healthy that won't be a complete shock to the system and will leave the family wanting more of the same instead of dreading meal time and sneaking unhealthy snacks.

I also didn't agree with the nutritionist letting them keep all the junk food in the house on a sort of honor system. The temptation proved too great for the 8 year-old and he snuck some mini muffins. Yeah, um maybe 'cause he's 8! I think his impulse control is not completely developed yet. I am a big believer in getting the junk out of the house permanently so that the temptation isn't even there. There's enough temptation in the regular world for adults and kids alike, why not make home a healthy haven?

I love the drama though! When they show the pictures of the kids at the beginning the 40 year-old kids always look sullen and greasy. They give them ratty clothes and bad haircuts - I've noticed they really like the receding hairline and the mullet. The one kid with a tendency for a unibrow had a very pronounced unibrow at 40. Um, so apparently when you eat junk food you lose all desire for any sort of personal grooming?

The pictures of the aged kids at the end, after the plan is in place, and assuming the kids stick to the plan, shows 40 year-old men who are smiling, clean-cut and generally wearing preppy clothes (although one kid looked like he belonged in Miami Vice at the end. Bright yellow T-shirt under a black sport coat. I didn't see if the sleeves were pushed up or not). I wonder if the parents recongize how manipulative the pictures are.

Like I said, overall I think the show is a good idea, but it needs to be tweaked a little.

Weekly Update

So I've gained 1.6 pounds, but I've lost an inch, so I'm going to assume it's muscle and move forward and not get too depressed about inching closer back to 200. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

This week I am definitely going to try harder to work out every day. Or at least Monday through Thursday, since I'm heading to Boston on Friday night.

The week's workouts:
Monday - one hour with Denise.
Tuesday - recuperating from Monday. Too many lunges equals pain in the thighs that makes it progressively more difficult to do crazy things like walk and sit down.
Wednesday - 50 minutes with Denise. She wanted me to do some more lunges and I just couldn't.
Thursday - no workout because I met up with some friends.
Friday - no workout because I'm a lazy bum.
Saturday - one hour with Denise.

Despite it being the end of my 60-hour work week, after working out Saturday night I felt so energized. I need to remember that for days like Friday when I just can't work up the strength to think about exercising.

I also need to stop making exercise a choice. It just needs to be something I do without thinking too much about it.

Goal

Inspired by Ezpy, I've decided to set a short-term goal for myself. On June 16 I'm going to Vegas for a VIP birthday extravaganza with San Francisco Jenn and some of her other friends. The last time I saw her was last August and I was 185, the lowest I've been. I'm determined to be at least down to 185 by June 16. I'm hoping since that's only 10 pounds away that I can maybe even be down to 180 or - dare I say it?! - 175. But 185 is the real goal, and I know I can do it.

Snackie of the Day

Last night I went over to a friend's house and she offered me a Healthy Choice Fudge Bar. I forgot all about these! I always used to get them when my roommate for my first 2 years of law school and I used to go to Costco because they always had them and we were both trying to be good and all sugar-free and junk.

They are so, so good. And only 80 calories. And sweetened with sorbitol, which isn't good for you per se, but it's not sugar. I think I need to pick some up today.

In Pain

Denise Austin is no longer my best friend. We did a bum and thigh workout on Monday night and I haven't been able to work out since. I am so incredibly sore! Yesterday was bad, but today is worse. I forget how the second day is always worse. I can barely walk, and going up stairs is just tortuous. One of my co-workers suggested a banana and said I need potassium so I just ate one. And popped some ibuprofen.

Last night I did do some arm and back exercises with the weights so I didn't feel like a total lump. I also worked 10 1/2 hours and was pretty tired anyway. I hope that I can do a real workout tonight, but I don't know if my legs will be up to it. Owie!

Proof Positive That My Body Was Just Waiting Around Expectantly for Me to Get On the Ball

I've lost 5.4 pounds and 3 inches since I started my exercise and healthy eating 9 days ago! How's that for results? I seriously think my body was primed. I had been on such a weight loss kick last year, but was off track since the Bar last July. Maybe once your body is used to losing weight, it's not that hard to make it remember again.

Suffice it to say, I am thrilled. I know that this is pretty fast, and I know that probably a bit of the measurement difference is due to my time of the month having come and gone, and I know that my results next week will probably not be nearly as dramatic. But I'm happy. This gives me such encouragement to keep going.

Weekly workout wrap-up:
Monday - one hour with Denise Austin
Tuesday - one hour with Denise Austin
Wednesday - forty minutes with Denise Austin. I was really tired, but I managed to get through the aerobics half hour. However, I decided to just do the yoga from the Pilates and Yoga half hour to get myself relaxed.
Thursday - helped a friend move. Up and down 21 stairs multiple times, half of those times carrying heavy boxes and furniture. That counts as my workout as far as I'm concerned.
Friday - nothing. I was really tired again and just couldn't get any energy.
Saturday - one hour with Denise Austin
Sunday - day of rest. I'm committed to that. It's the one day I don't have to go to work and I'm not worrying about exercising. I may even curl up for a little nap in a bit.

I haven't had any sugar this week, and have managed to mostly stay away from refined flour. A couple of times a week a man shows up on the corner near my office and sets up a fruit stand. I got some amazing oranges and strawberries this past week. I'm trying to keep up the amount of fruits and veggies in my diet.

I've noticed I have so much more energy since I started to work out regularly again. I know that's the way it works, it's just nice to feel the fruits of my labors.

Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate! I don't have any plans today, which is actually just fine with me on my one day off.

Scale

For future reference, don't be chintzey when buying a scale because the weight gods apparently don't like a cheapskate.

Last week I ordered a scale off of Target.com. I went for the cheapest one that was at least semi-aesthetically pleasing. And by that I mean it would probably just blend into the background in the bathroom. It came yesterday and I freaked when I stepped on it.

240.

No. No no no. Wrong wrong wrong.

First off, the heaviest I've been is 235 and that was 4 years ago when I was sunk in depresssion. Second, if I weighed 240 I seriously doubt any of my clothes would fit me at all. My skinny minnie roommate then came and stepped on it and when it registered at 155 she gave a little yelp and said, "Uh, yeah, that's broken." (We'll just overlook for right now that 155 is my goal weight and that she's 3 inches taller than me).

So $15 is apparently not enough to fork over for a scale and to expect it to work.

How Much Do You Weigh?

You Should Weigh 155

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight. If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

Of course I put in all of my new and improved eating and exercise habits that I have been sticking to for less than a week now. But I'm determined and encouraged by my determination. Once I really dedicate myself to something like this, I do tend to stick to it - for at least awhile. Like exercising every day (or almost every day) and eating healthy while studying for the Bar. I did that and when it was all over, I looked great. Of course, that may have had something to do with my euphoric glow because the Bar was over, but I also attribute it to my healthy habits.

Thanks to Jackie for the test. I love quizzes!

Work Workout

Here's the situation. I am working 60 hours a week right now. 10 hours a day, 6 days a week of basically feeling my bum spread out to fill the contours of the roomy office chair. At the little firm I was at before I started doc review, one of the girls I worked with had one of these sitting on her chair. One day when she was out of the office we all noticed it and speculated on what it was exactly. I am proud to say that I figured it out.

Some of the other women were making fun of the seating disc and pointing out what a crazy workout fiend this girl must be. While this particular person did tend to be a little obssessive about what she ate and how her body looked, I thought the seating disc was a fabulous idea and secretly coveted her disc.

Well now here I am sitting for 10 hours and making enough money to have a teensy bit of disposable income after my bills are paid. So I ordered a seating disc the other day and I'm so excited.

This morning at work some of us were discussing exercising and one guy mentioned a contraption he wanted to buy that was essentially a tiny set of bicycle pedals that fit under your desk so you can merrily pedal your day away. I sat back and just did the pedaling motion with my feet and could totally feel it in my abs (did I mention my abs are sore? Oh yeah. Like punched in the stomach sore). So then I had an idea and made up a new exercise for the office, which I probably subconsciously stole from the pages of Self or something, but I'm going to take credit.

So you sit back and balance your arms on the office chair arms. Put your knees together and lift your legs up, twisting your knees to the right. Lower your legs without letting your feet touch the floor, then lift again, twisting to the left.

All I know is after a couple of these my abs were saying, "Do you not remember our Saturday workout, woman?! Cut it out!" So I did. But that little maneuver is tucked away for future, less ab pain-filled days.

Yummy!

I have a new favorite snackie. Jason, the boy in my life, has a favorite drink that he makes a lot consisting of cranberry juice, lime juice and club soda. Well, last night I realized I had both cranberry and lime sugar-free Jello. Hmmm. I combined them together and the result is really yummy. And at 10 calories a serving, it can't be beat.

I did an hour with Denise tonight. I suppose with commercials it winds up being somewhere between 45-50 minutes, but whatever. My abs are very sore. I've started talking back to her. For instance, today she wanted me to do a plank, meaning I support myself on my lower arms and my toes with my body stretched out. You would not believe how much this one move works your abs.

But then she said, "Alright, now lift up one leg, stretch it, and down. Now the other one. Come on! You can do it!" To which I responding by collapsing and saying, "Yeah, no, actually, I can't." Not yet anyway. I think I still weigh too much and my arms are too weak. I have no upper-body strength and while I could definitely feel that particular move in my abs, it was also starting to hurt my arms pretty bad. Sigh. I know I'll eventually be able to do it.

I did the aerobics and abs half hour first, then I did the pilates and yoga half hour, which was a nice way to relax. She always does some very basic yoga moves at the end of the show, and I can tell even after only doing a few of them that I'm getting a little more limber, my balance is improving, and my weak ankles aren't wobbling as much as they used to.

After 60 hours of work this week and an hour with Denise, I should sleep well tonight!

Proud of Myself

I worked out last night. A half hour with Denise Austin. And let me tell you, after working for 50 hours already this week, she totally kicked my butt. Then I did 100 crunches, leg lifts for my inner and outer thighs, and donkey kicks for my bum. I'm going to whip myself into shape.

I also ordered a scale and a body fat monitor online so I can keep track of my progress at home instead of relying on my sporadic visits to my friend Ryann's house where I can step on her scale and try to remember how long it has actually been since I last weighed myself there. I'm only going to weigh and measure myself once a week, ideally at the same time. Say Monday morning maybe.

I measured myself yesterday too. I have measurements recorded for the past couple of years. Two years ago I weighed 5 pounds more than I do now, but my measurements were significantly higher. Like I may be only 5 pounds lighter, but overall I'm about 12 inches smaller. I'm taking that as meaning that I'm leaner, I have more muscle than fat than I did 2 years ago. I'm trying to get some positivity out of negating last year's weight loss completely.

Lastly, I took some "Before" pictures yesterday, with the assumption that there will eventually be some "After" pictures. Can I just tell you how depressing I found the backside pictures? My bum is HUGE! I realize it's huge somewhere in the back of my mind, but it's very easy to ignore since, you know, the bum is behind me and all. The picture gave me pause and made me wonder about my boyfriend since he always says he likes my bum. I'm dating some weird fetishy freak apparently.

Kidding.

So far today I've eaten 1 oz of smoked turkey and an almond toffee Kashi Go Lean bar. I really like those bars. They are mere shadows of candy bars, but taste pretty good as far as the Power Bar/Clif genre go. I also had a small cup of skim milk.

On Saturdays we get food catered for lunch at work. Last week we got Cosi sandwches, salad and desserts. I admit I took crazy advantage of the dessert tray last week, but not today.

It's amazing how just working out one day can help me feel so much more positive. Like I'm actually doing something, I'm making progress, I'm on the road again.

Today I go to the cable company to get my internet set up kit, which means once I get that installed and set up my Tivo, I have no excuse to not work out with Denise Austin again. With the 60 hours per week that I'm working, I know my only shot at working out regularly is to work out with 2 Denise Austin shows right after I get home from work.

Tomorrow after work I will be stopping by the Korean supermarket on my way home because I've been told that Asian supermarkets have the best and the cheapest produce. I'll be stocking up on fruits and veggies. Then I'll go to the grocery store and get chicken breasts, whole wheat bread, cottage cheese, etc.

Then it will be ON!

The thing is, I actually love how I feel when I work out and eat well. A tad bit self-righteous. Wonderfully energized. Chocolate has a momentary satiation, but then the sugar crash hits in a way that it never does when I eat an apple. But when faced with the choice of chocolate and an apple, I will always want the chocolate. I don't think I can retrain my brain to that extent.

But I know I have the capacity to not eat sugar except for one splurge day a month. I've done it before, so I know it's possible.

So my goal is to have my healthy eating and working out set up in place by the end of the week.

Bring it!

Feeling Fat

Bleh.

Trans Fat

I just read this article about the foods that contain trans fats. After reading their Top Ten list I've basically determined that it's impossible to eat anything. Especially anything quick and convenient. Well, duh.

I'm just going to confess right here that sometimes I will be eating prepared foods and I'll be getting some trans fat. Maybe that explains the 15 pound gain. Well that and not working out. And eating sugar for the last 8 months with wild abandon. Maybe.

Book

I'm reading Tales from the Scale on the train every morning. At first I didn't like the format. It's set up thematically, with several different authors writing a section under each theme. At first, I found it disconcerting to jump from one author to another, but I'm liking it now.

I'm thinking I might try to follow the format of the book and write my own blurbs on each of the themes. Really talk about weighing more than I want to and the Fat Girl who I am on the outside and the inside. Weight issues have been such a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. I hate that the number on the scale or on the tag of my clothes has such control over me, but it does.

I am disheartened a bit by my recent weight gain. However, knowing that I have lost weight in the recent past, and knowing that I'm still not as big as I was when I lived in Chicago gives me hope. It's like I know I can do this, I just have to make my mind up to do it again. I find it frustrating this week to have to be packing for my move instead of working out every night. I read the section in the book today about going to the gym, and now all I want to do is find an elliptical machine or flip on Denise Austin. Maybe if I get a decent job in Boston, I can join Healthworks, the fancy-schmancy women's gym. I hear it's very nice.

Today I'm putting up some stats over on the sidebar. Knowing that I'm back at 200 is a poopy feeling, but like I said, I know I have the capacity to lose what I've gained back, plus some.

Snackies

Does anyone have any good, sweet, sugar-free snackie ideas? I'm looking for something very particular and I don't know if I'm going to find it. I'm doing document review right now which is really boring, and it's so tempting to start thinking about what snacks I want and how I can go about procuring those snacks so that they're sitting next to me at my desk within my reach to pop into my mouth every few seconds to distract me from the boring work.

Red Raspberry Dollars were fulfilling this need. They're yummy and gummy and perfect to suck on for awhile because if I chew them I'm convinced my one filling will be yanked right out of my tooth. However, I'm not eating the sugar anymore.

I bought some sugar-free Creme Savers, and while they're good, they seem to be making my insides churn up a bit. Eww.

I've also been chewing gum toward the end of my workday, but mint and cinnamon get samey. Maybe it would help to buy some Carefree Coolers gum, which is yummy and sugar-free.

But in the meantime, does anyone have a good snack idea for me?

Starting Again

Well, it's serious now. This weekend I had the chance to weigh myself on the same scale I weighed myself on when I moved to DC 7 months ago. I've gained 15 pounds, which basically negates all the effort of last summer.

So today I am officially rededicating myself, for realsies now, to being healthier.

For one, no more sugar. I admit that I am unable to control the sugar intake. It's so easy to say, "Oh, I'll just have a little bit" here and there. Pretty soon I'm having multiple little bits of sugar every single day. It's much easier to just say "No, thank you" and give myself the one splurge day to look forward to. Plus, the longer I went without eating sugar, the less I actually wanted on my splurge day, which was an unexpected, but good result.

Two, more fruits and vegetables. I know it takes longer, but I need to make a concerted effort to have good fruts and veggies around to snack on, or have them prepared to take for lunches. The job I'm working now only has me working 6 days a week, so I need to take Sunday afternoon and prep for the week to come.

Three, consistent exercise. I have a good resource in my Tivoed Denise Austin shows. I just have to do them. I have to make the effort to get to bed earlier so I can either wake up early in the morning to work out, or not be too exhausted to work out at night. However, I'm giving myself this week off because I'm moving in a few days and I HAVE TO PACK. Packing has not even begun, although I managed to score a ton of boxes from my last job. Big, heavy, document-holding boxes. Hurrah!

So even though my rooommate's birthday cake is still sitting on the counter and she would be fine with me having some tonight after dinner, I must say no. Even though I have half a roll of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies left, I must save them for my splurge day. Today, I start anew.

Ooo, This Could Be Dangerous

I just discovered something that makes it a very good thing that I'm only working this job for a few more days. The firm cafeteria. Not only is the food there yummy, but it's also heavily subsidized so they can do things like offer ribs, fries and coleslaw for lunch for $4! Amazing. So guess what I had for lunch yesterday? In my defense, I had a Pria bar for breakfast and then got stuck on a project that prevented me from eating my mid-morning snack so I was famished. OK, that's not really a defense because it just reinforces in your mind that my eating habits really aren't that great despite my noble efforts. OK, then, that's my excuse. I was famished, there were cheap ribs available, thus I ate the cheap ribs.

And they were so, so good.

Updating

Let's see. I've been eating sugar because I haven't had time to go to the real grocery store and buy fruit for an energy boost in the afternoon.

I haven't worked out since last week because I've been working long, long hours and I'm not sleeping very well, so by the time I get home I feel like I've been beat up.

Add to that the fact that I have to move in the next couple of weeks and I haven't even started packing and I know that if I have any spare time at night I need to pack.

Plus, I have a writing exercise due for a job I interviewed for. It's due Friday. It's Wednesday. Have I started writing it? No. I'm sure they thought I'd have the weekend to get a good jump start on it, but I don't think they were counting on my having the type of job where I worked 10 hours both Saturday and Sunday. Ugh. That's at the forefront of my mind and I have to get it mostly done tonight so I have tomorrow to revise.

Then there's the whole missing the boyfriend thing. I've cancelled two trips now to go see him because I've had to work. He's supposed to come here this weekend and I'm crossing my fingers that I can take at least one day off this weekend to spend with him.

I'm tired.

Fell Off the Wagon

Well, obviously I haven't logged things for the last couple of days. I was in Boston and ate fine. Then I came back to DC and I was ok, until yesterday. Last night I got home and since I took a 7 AM flight and then worked until 7 PM I was way too pooped to work out with Denise. Plus, I was seized with PMS cravings like I have not had in months. I was fixated on Ben and Jerry's. However once I got to the store, I gave myself a little talking-to and wound up getting some Pepperidge Farm cookies and dunking them in skim milk. Slightly lower calories and slightly lower fat than a 1/2 pint of B&J's. And let's be honest. With the way I was feeling last night I'm pretty sure I would have downed the entire pint. I haven't had cravings like that in awhile. I needed chocolate in the worst way. The darker the better.

On the upside, I measured myself again and two weeks after starting the eating marginally better and working out with Denise Austin plan, I've lost a little in my arms. My upper body is always the first place I lose so I'm taking that as a hopeful sign that I am actually doing some good and that the lower body diminishment will soon follow.

Tuesday

Breakfast: (I went to bed at 1, woke up at 5:30, went back to sleep at 7:15, woke up at 7:50 and still managed to shower and get my butt to the bus on time, so thus...) Asiago bagel from Au Bon Pain. Just the bagel, no cream cheese. I"m really, really trying here.
AM Snack: Hot chocolate (I was cold and sleepy and I don't drink coffee. Hot chocolate is hot and caffeinated. And free from the machine at work. Perfection!)
Lunch: Half a chicken breast (do you know they sell some big mother chicken breasts in the economy family packs? Do people who buy the economy family packs necessarily need big mother chicken breasts?) with a sauce of mushrooms sauteed in red wine vinegar that I invented and that is super yummy, broccoli, and about 3/4 cups rice with some Trader Joe's teriyaki sauce sprinkled on it.
PM Snack: Serving of pretzels
Dinner: Chicken parmesan Lean Pocket and 1/2 cup cottage cheese

I think recording all of this is making me a wee bit defensive about my food choices.

Monday

Breakfast: Chocolate peanut butter crisp Pria bar
AM Snack: Cashews
Lunch: Potbelly Wreck sandwich on whole wheat bread
PM Snack: Cashews
Dinner: Chicken Parmesan Lean Pocket and apple

1 hour with Denise tonight. Things are so crazy with work stuff that I needed the extra workout, even though I'm pooped.