I wrote a blog post about the miscarriage, but I don't think I'm going to post it. It was good for me to write it out, an exercise I've done since I was a little girl. I wrote about it, and now the story is out of me, and I feel ready to move forward a little bit more every day.
I will say that it was much more dramatic than I had expected. When I miscarried at around 5 weeks, it just felt like a slightly heavier, slightly crampier period. Miscarrying at 12 weeks is a whole different animal. After being in severe pain all day, pain that a Percoset prescription didn't touch, Jason took me to the ER, where I praised the staff who got me in and hooked me up to a Dilaudid IV within 20 minutes. A miracle. I even wrote the hospital administration an email telling them how great everyone was.
I think the experience scared Jason pretty badly - I couldn't talk, I couldn't do anything except moan. It's made me rethink whether I'm really going to have a hippie no medication birth after all.
It feels monumentally unfair that I went through the first trimester and essentially experienced labor, and in the end we're left with nothing.
Still, we're moving forward. It's put a bit of a damper on the holidays. I've been moody, as Jason will tell you. Tears are right under the surface for the entirety of my days. Not just sad tears, though. As we move toward Christmas, every hokey attempt at sentimentalism that in past years I might have been able to ignore has been making me well up and think, "That's just so lovely!"
So if you see me crying, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
We got a Christmas tree and decorated it, and that helped. Jason filled the house with poinsettias like he does every year, and I pulled out my stuffed snowmen and teddy bears dressed in Victorian Christmas garb (they're adorable!), and that helped. A couple of days ago, I felt like myself for the first time in ages.
We're moving forward and we'll keep trying, because it would be nice to have a child or two to share this life with.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Where I've Been
I haven't written anything very substantive on my blogs for a little while now because I've been preoccupied. I've been waiting until an appropriate time to share some news here, and in the meantime I've been drafting posts about what's been going on to post once I could talk about it.
But now there's nothing really to share except this: I'm waiting to have a miscarriage.
I've written a bit about our struggles to have a baby. As of next January, we will have been trying for 3 years. We've been to doctors and the problem has been figured out and essentially fixed, so we've only been really trying with everything working well for about 8 months or so.
In September we planned to do an IUI at the fertility clinic, only it seemed like I never ovulated, which is weird since I'm like clockwork. Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when I got two positive pregnancy tests. After all of the doctors and appointments and everything, we had done it on our own!
For the last month I've been experiencing pregnancy symptoms - all-day nausea, bloating, gas, sore boobs. These things were irritating on one hand, and exciting on the other, because it meant I was growing a baby.
Only, no.
Thursday night, Jason and I went to the hospital for my first ultrasound. I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, so we expected to see our teeny baby for the first time and to hopefully hear its heartbeat. Instead, there was nothing. A yolk sac, indicating that things had started out well, but no baby. The fetus never grew.
The technician couldn't tell us what it meant, because that's not her place, but it was clear from her face, and painfully obvious that there was just no baby.
We left the hospital devastated. At 9 1/2 weeks, I had already imagined telling family and friends in a few weeks. I was so excited to be able to share this right before Christmas. Based on the conception date, baby would have arrived around June 15, which meant having the summer to spend together. I envisioned possibly, once I got coordinated enough, taking baby to sit on the beach with me. We have had a dramatic shift in how we envisioned the next 8 months (and after) since Thursday night.
As much as I would like to close the chapter and have it end immediately, I'm just going to let nature take its course, which could take a couple of weeks. I spoke to my doctor on Friday afternoon and she was so kind. She even gave me her cell phone number in case I need to talk. I feel good about choosing her as my OB even though we've only interacted a couple of times.
Jason was emailing with a friend on Friday, and it must have been on his mind because she's expecting a baby, and so he told her. It turns out the same thing happened to her and her husband. She went in for the ultrasound at 9 weeks, and nothing was there. I honestly didn't know this was even a possibility. I thought if there was something wrong like that, surely you miscarried much sooner than almost 10 weeks. I can't say that I'm glad it happened to her too, because it's terrible, but it's nice to feel not so alone.
Which is really why I am writing about this. The more I talk about fertility issues, the more I realize we have lots of friends who have also struggled with having a baby. And the more we discuss miscarriage, the more friends we realize have also dealt with this. No one talks about these things, because they are personal and the hurt is deep, but it's nice to know we're not alone. Knowing there's a friend I can email when I am sad or if things get hard over the next couple of weeks who knows what I am feeling, is really a comfort to me.
I'm supposed to be 10 weeks today, but I'm just waiting for it to end. We're going to try again, of course, but today we are sad.
But now there's nothing really to share except this: I'm waiting to have a miscarriage.
I've written a bit about our struggles to have a baby. As of next January, we will have been trying for 3 years. We've been to doctors and the problem has been figured out and essentially fixed, so we've only been really trying with everything working well for about 8 months or so.
In September we planned to do an IUI at the fertility clinic, only it seemed like I never ovulated, which is weird since I'm like clockwork. Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when I got two positive pregnancy tests. After all of the doctors and appointments and everything, we had done it on our own!
For the last month I've been experiencing pregnancy symptoms - all-day nausea, bloating, gas, sore boobs. These things were irritating on one hand, and exciting on the other, because it meant I was growing a baby.
Only, no.
Thursday night, Jason and I went to the hospital for my first ultrasound. I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, so we expected to see our teeny baby for the first time and to hopefully hear its heartbeat. Instead, there was nothing. A yolk sac, indicating that things had started out well, but no baby. The fetus never grew.
The technician couldn't tell us what it meant, because that's not her place, but it was clear from her face, and painfully obvious that there was just no baby.
We left the hospital devastated. At 9 1/2 weeks, I had already imagined telling family and friends in a few weeks. I was so excited to be able to share this right before Christmas. Based on the conception date, baby would have arrived around June 15, which meant having the summer to spend together. I envisioned possibly, once I got coordinated enough, taking baby to sit on the beach with me. We have had a dramatic shift in how we envisioned the next 8 months (and after) since Thursday night.
As much as I would like to close the chapter and have it end immediately, I'm just going to let nature take its course, which could take a couple of weeks. I spoke to my doctor on Friday afternoon and she was so kind. She even gave me her cell phone number in case I need to talk. I feel good about choosing her as my OB even though we've only interacted a couple of times.
Jason was emailing with a friend on Friday, and it must have been on his mind because she's expecting a baby, and so he told her. It turns out the same thing happened to her and her husband. She went in for the ultrasound at 9 weeks, and nothing was there. I honestly didn't know this was even a possibility. I thought if there was something wrong like that, surely you miscarried much sooner than almost 10 weeks. I can't say that I'm glad it happened to her too, because it's terrible, but it's nice to feel not so alone.
Which is really why I am writing about this. The more I talk about fertility issues, the more I realize we have lots of friends who have also struggled with having a baby. And the more we discuss miscarriage, the more friends we realize have also dealt with this. No one talks about these things, because they are personal and the hurt is deep, but it's nice to know we're not alone. Knowing there's a friend I can email when I am sad or if things get hard over the next couple of weeks who knows what I am feeling, is really a comfort to me.
I'm supposed to be 10 weeks today, but I'm just waiting for it to end. We're going to try again, of course, but today we are sad.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Size Deflation
I have a bone to pick with Target. A few years ago I discovered their black tights in a roll, which gave me cheap, comfortable tights to wear in the winter with a waist band that landed somewhere near my belly button (versus right under my chest like most tights).
Only, the last time I bought a pair, the size I bought before (and still wear) suddenly was WAY too small. OK, fine, I've gained some weight. I can go up a size. Last night I bought 2 pairs of the next size up, only to discover this morning that they are both too small. Well, one I could yank on after some effort, but there is no way the other pair is going to fit unless I lose about 40 pounds. This is the size that's supposed to fit up to 5'11" and 230 pounds. I call major shenanigans!
If I didn't still have a couple of pairs from past years that fit perfectly fine, in the smaller size, I would probably be really depressed and bemoaning my state of fatness. Instead I'm just irritated at Target. I thought everyone was complaining about size inflation lately, but Target seems to be going to other way, at least in its tights.
Now I have to find a new source for a winter staple. Sigh.
Only, the last time I bought a pair, the size I bought before (and still wear) suddenly was WAY too small. OK, fine, I've gained some weight. I can go up a size. Last night I bought 2 pairs of the next size up, only to discover this morning that they are both too small. Well, one I could yank on after some effort, but there is no way the other pair is going to fit unless I lose about 40 pounds. This is the size that's supposed to fit up to 5'11" and 230 pounds. I call major shenanigans!
If I didn't still have a couple of pairs from past years that fit perfectly fine, in the smaller size, I would probably be really depressed and bemoaning my state of fatness. Instead I'm just irritated at Target. I thought everyone was complaining about size inflation lately, but Target seems to be going to other way, at least in its tights.
Now I have to find a new source for a winter staple. Sigh.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Obsessive Much?
I don't know what it is, but lately I am obsessed with knitting. Maybe it's the change in the weather. Or the knowledge that I have a bunch of big things I want to get done for Christmas presents and, oh my gosh, it's almost the end of September!
Also, sigh, I seem to have really tweaked my shoulder, which has put the kibosh on my swimming challenge. We've gone kayaking twice this month, and that, plus the yardage I have managed to get done, plus my feeble attempts at the Cross Fit-esque workouts for my OTHER challenge have seemed to have really done a number on my right shoulder. Basically whenever I do anything requiring shoulder movement, it hurts. I figure I'll give it another week and then I'll go to the doctor.
Anyway, in lieu of challenge updates, I will post pictures of my knitting works in progress because that's what I've been doing this month.
A couple of gift sweaters I'm working on using Techniques! (multi-colored knitting and cables, specifically):
And here's the hat I'm making with my new Yarnbox yarn, with a lovely cabled brim, since I lost my winter hat last year and need a new one anyway:
Also, sigh, I seem to have really tweaked my shoulder, which has put the kibosh on my swimming challenge. We've gone kayaking twice this month, and that, plus the yardage I have managed to get done, plus my feeble attempts at the Cross Fit-esque workouts for my OTHER challenge have seemed to have really done a number on my right shoulder. Basically whenever I do anything requiring shoulder movement, it hurts. I figure I'll give it another week and then I'll go to the doctor.
Anyway, in lieu of challenge updates, I will post pictures of my knitting works in progress because that's what I've been doing this month.
A couple of gift sweaters I'm working on using Techniques! (multi-colored knitting and cables, specifically):
And here's the hat I'm making with my new Yarnbox yarn, with a lovely cabled brim, since I lost my winter hat last year and need a new one anyway:
I'm also going to make a cowl to match the hat.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
September Update
I've been feeling down on myself because I haven't done as much as I wanted to with regard to my September challenges, but I think I need to cut myself a little slack. So I still have 19,200 yards to swim this month. On the other hand, I swam 5 miles last week, including a 3000 yard workout on Saturday.
I haven't been keeping up with ALL of the prescribed workouts with my challenge group and I'm in last place, but I have done a few of the workouts and challenges and I've also been kayaking and boogie boarding the last couple of weekends.
The point is, I'm not meeting all of the goals I set this month, but all told I'm still being pretty active.
This is also taking into consideration that since last Saturday my right shoulder has been really aching. My arms and chest are no longer sore from the boogie boarding, but the shoulder pain is lingering. Sometimes my shoulder bugs me if I ramp up the swimming too fast, so I think I just need to let it rest for a bit. Rebecca and I are swimming tomorrow morning and I have a feeling I'll need to rely heavily on kicking drills to get my yards in. Good thing I'm a strong kicker!
We were supposed to swim yesterday morning, but I got a mini-flu on Tuesday night thanks to the flu shot I got Tuesday morning. I was absolutely fine all day until about 8 PM, when suddenly I couldn't walk straight and my eyes started burning like they did when I had the real flu in February, along with a solid fever. My temperature got up to 101 on Tuesday night and I wound up not going into work until noon yesterday. I had better not get the flu this year after that! Antibodies, do your job!
So, not where I wanted to be as of September 19, but not terrible either. September, I'll give you a "Not So Bad."
I haven't been keeping up with ALL of the prescribed workouts with my challenge group and I'm in last place, but I have done a few of the workouts and challenges and I've also been kayaking and boogie boarding the last couple of weekends.
The point is, I'm not meeting all of the goals I set this month, but all told I'm still being pretty active.
This is also taking into consideration that since last Saturday my right shoulder has been really aching. My arms and chest are no longer sore from the boogie boarding, but the shoulder pain is lingering. Sometimes my shoulder bugs me if I ramp up the swimming too fast, so I think I just need to let it rest for a bit. Rebecca and I are swimming tomorrow morning and I have a feeling I'll need to rely heavily on kicking drills to get my yards in. Good thing I'm a strong kicker!
We were supposed to swim yesterday morning, but I got a mini-flu on Tuesday night thanks to the flu shot I got Tuesday morning. I was absolutely fine all day until about 8 PM, when suddenly I couldn't walk straight and my eyes started burning like they did when I had the real flu in February, along with a solid fever. My temperature got up to 101 on Tuesday night and I wound up not going into work until noon yesterday. I had better not get the flu this year after that! Antibodies, do your job!
So, not where I wanted to be as of September 19, but not terrible either. September, I'll give you a "Not So Bad."
Monday, September 16, 2013
The Board-Related Water Sport I'm Good At!
After Rebecca and I swam 3000 yards on Saturday morning (because we're fabulous), we went to the beach so Jason, Tad and I could take a surfing lesson. A Grouponed surfing lesson, of course, because that's how we do things in our house.
I just have to say, it was a PERFECT beach day. Maybe it was a little cool for some people, but as the person who is always hot, I loved it being in the 70s. When the sun came out it was nice and toasty. Even though the water was a little chilly at first, it warmed right up once you got moving.
So our lesson consisted of: here's where your chin goes when you're on your stomach, here's where your feet go when you pop up, let's pop up twice, ok, let's hit the water! Um... I do not feel prepared...
I suppose, though, there really isn't that much to it. You just have to go for it. We had some nice waves due to a tropical storm passing by off the coast. Everyone mocks East Coast waves, but there can be some pretty great surfing conditions in southern Rhode Island, depending on the weather.
I managed to get on my board and sail into shore on my stomach twice, without it even occurring to me to try to pop up onto my feet. Baby steps. I spent the rest of the time wrestling my board and trying to get back out to where the waves were breaking.
So, I know I need to lose some weight, Mr. Surfing Instructor*, but I'm still only 5' 6" and I suspect that the board you gave me was way too big. I had the same size board as 6' 4" Tad. Yeah.
After 40 minutes of getting dunked and rolled around by the waves, while the leash on my board chafed my ankle, I decided I had gotten my Groupon's worth and I was done. Jason immediately snatched my board because he thought he needed a bigger one, which he did because he's six inches taller than me, and I went to go chat with Rebecca and watch the guys surf. They did pretty well.
Back to the subject of this post though. As you've probably guessed, the board-related water sport I'm good at is not surfing. It's also not stand up paddle boarding, which I've tried and once I got over the weak ankles-related searing pain in my calves and finally felt stable, I enjoyed, but thought it was too slow. We paddled on a river that we've kayaked on several times and I missed the speed of the kayak.**
It's boogie boarding! Seriously, I'm kind of sad beach season is basically over and I probably won't be able to boogie board again, because it's awesome. All of my summers spent wave jumping at the beach in Florida have made me pretty good at reading what a wave is going to do, and I managed to ride the crest of some fantastic big waves that carried me all the way into shore. After church yesterday, I was kind of thinking maybe we should head to the beach for the afternoon, but I decided to be all practical and get stuff done around the house. Lame.
I am SORE today, though. Actually, Saturday night my right shoulder was sore, and I thought maybe I had done too much pulling when we swam that morning. But yesterday evening I started getting really sore in my chest and arms, like I had done a bunch of push ups, and I still hurt today. When I think about how I propped myself up on the boogie board for an hour or so that makes sense. In contrast to push ups, boogie boarding is about seventeen million times more fun, and totally worth the pain.
*Who, by the way, had one leg and was teaching surfing, which means he's pretty much the most awesome person ever. We decided that if it wasn't a shark, he needs to say it was a shark.
** Between the Alpine Slide and the boogie boarding, I think this summer has been about discovering I'm a closet speed junkie.
I just have to say, it was a PERFECT beach day. Maybe it was a little cool for some people, but as the person who is always hot, I loved it being in the 70s. When the sun came out it was nice and toasty. Even though the water was a little chilly at first, it warmed right up once you got moving.
So our lesson consisted of: here's where your chin goes when you're on your stomach, here's where your feet go when you pop up, let's pop up twice, ok, let's hit the water! Um... I do not feel prepared...
I suppose, though, there really isn't that much to it. You just have to go for it. We had some nice waves due to a tropical storm passing by off the coast. Everyone mocks East Coast waves, but there can be some pretty great surfing conditions in southern Rhode Island, depending on the weather.
I managed to get on my board and sail into shore on my stomach twice, without it even occurring to me to try to pop up onto my feet. Baby steps. I spent the rest of the time wrestling my board and trying to get back out to where the waves were breaking.
So, I know I need to lose some weight, Mr. Surfing Instructor*, but I'm still only 5' 6" and I suspect that the board you gave me was way too big. I had the same size board as 6' 4" Tad. Yeah.
After 40 minutes of getting dunked and rolled around by the waves, while the leash on my board chafed my ankle, I decided I had gotten my Groupon's worth and I was done. Jason immediately snatched my board because he thought he needed a bigger one, which he did because he's six inches taller than me, and I went to go chat with Rebecca and watch the guys surf. They did pretty well.
Back to the subject of this post though. As you've probably guessed, the board-related water sport I'm good at is not surfing. It's also not stand up paddle boarding, which I've tried and once I got over the weak ankles-related searing pain in my calves and finally felt stable, I enjoyed, but thought it was too slow. We paddled on a river that we've kayaked on several times and I missed the speed of the kayak.**
It's boogie boarding! Seriously, I'm kind of sad beach season is basically over and I probably won't be able to boogie board again, because it's awesome. All of my summers spent wave jumping at the beach in Florida have made me pretty good at reading what a wave is going to do, and I managed to ride the crest of some fantastic big waves that carried me all the way into shore. After church yesterday, I was kind of thinking maybe we should head to the beach for the afternoon, but I decided to be all practical and get stuff done around the house. Lame.
I am SORE today, though. Actually, Saturday night my right shoulder was sore, and I thought maybe I had done too much pulling when we swam that morning. But yesterday evening I started getting really sore in my chest and arms, like I had done a bunch of push ups, and I still hurt today. When I think about how I propped myself up on the boogie board for an hour or so that makes sense. In contrast to push ups, boogie boarding is about seventeen million times more fun, and totally worth the pain.
*Who, by the way, had one leg and was teaching surfing, which means he's pretty much the most awesome person ever. We decided that if it wasn't a shark, he needs to say it was a shark.
** Between the Alpine Slide and the boogie boarding, I think this summer has been about discovering I'm a closet speed junkie.
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
The Camping Gods Hate Us
So this weekend we were supposed to camp Saturday and Sunday night, but we came home late Sunday. Rained out. Again. We always seem to get rained out in New Hampshire now. The giant pile of firewood in our sun room attests to the number of times we have gone to New Hampshire, bought wood at some roadside stand, and then never burned it because it rained and campfires are hard to maintain in the rain.
Anyway, we went up Saturday morning, set up our tent and sleeping bags, and spent the afternoon at Attitash Mountain, a ski resort in the winter, and fun mountain amusement park in the summer. However, we only went on the Alpine Slide twice and the Mountain Coaster once because of, you guessed it, the freaking rain.
The second it starts raining, they have to shut down the Alpine Slide because the brakes stop working completely. They kept the Coaster going a bit longer, while we stood in line getting rained on, until a guy couldn't stop on the slick track and plowed into the lady in front of him at the end of the ride. Everyone was okay, but they shut the Coaster down.
Regardless, I loved both of the rides and really want to go back and do them each 7 or 8 times in a row. I admit, I was chicken about it at first. I'm not a roller coaster person and I hate that out-of-control feeling, but Jason insisted we go and I'm so glad he did. The genius of these rides is that you're in your own little car and have a manual brake so you control how fast you go. I felt much more confident the second time on the Alpine Slide and was speeding along right behind Jason, but we kept getting hung up by the slow mom in front of him.
No offense to moms, but I observed that moms traveled slowest down the Alpine Slide and the Mountain Coaster. FYI, when we have kids, I will be the awesome mom speeding down the track.
I'm glad we set up camp before we headed to Attitash. We managed to get our dinner and a s'more cooked and eaten over our smoking fire, hissing with each light raindrop that hit it. We cleaned up the food (bears!) and tucked ourselves in the tent.
Another thing we have a knack for when we camp (in addition to being the best rain prediction tool out there) is finding the campsite right next to "The Bros." These are the backwards baseball cap-wearing guys, who stand around the fire with their beers, getting drunker and louder as the night wears on, inserting f-bombs in place of "um" when they speak. Charming, especially when campsites aren't really isolated at all. So we listened to The Bros for awhile, and then I managed to drift off to sleep, only to wake up at 1 AM when it started pouring rain and didn't stop for several hours. Good thing I can play Candy Crush without a cell phone signal.
The Bros woke us up at 6 AM as they packed up camp - loudly. Bros do nothing quietly. I guess they decided they would stay drier drinking their beers with their baseball caps in their apartments back in Boston. We woke up again around 9 AM, and while the day dawned a little cloudy, it started clearing up and Jason pressed on with his hiking plans. I had planned to go for a 6-mile walk through some wetlands and a wildlife preserve, but it was REALLY muggy, and I figured with all the rain the night before I would wind up really sweaty and harassed by bugs. So I hit the outlets in North Conway and found some great Fall work clothes.
I picked Jason up at about 6 PM and showed him the weather alert on my phone that came in at 4:30 saying there would be flash floods and a major storm and thunderstorms that night. Yeah, I don't think so. Jason might have wanted to stay, but I was pretty resolute that I needed some sleep at least one night this weekend. Also, based on the forecast, his plans for us to go rafting on a lake on Monday probably weren't happening.
We drove back to camp, threw our tent and everything into the car, and went to dinner. I drove us home since he had been hiking all day and we hit pieces of the HUGE storm on our way out of New Hampshire. It was seriously scary driving for a bit there, but we made it. I haven't seen lightning like that since I left Tucson, and the Arizona monsoons, behind.
So Monday wound up being a lot more low-key than we planned, but our summer weekends are usually hyper-scheduled and it was kind of nice to have a rainy day knitting at home.
Frankly, I'm kind of scared to go camping again. We always plan these super fun New Hampshire weekends and we wind up soaked with no campfire. But I'm sure we'll keep pressing on. After all, we've got all of this awesome gear!
Anyway, we went up Saturday morning, set up our tent and sleeping bags, and spent the afternoon at Attitash Mountain, a ski resort in the winter, and fun mountain amusement park in the summer. However, we only went on the Alpine Slide twice and the Mountain Coaster once because of, you guessed it, the freaking rain.
The second it starts raining, they have to shut down the Alpine Slide because the brakes stop working completely. They kept the Coaster going a bit longer, while we stood in line getting rained on, until a guy couldn't stop on the slick track and plowed into the lady in front of him at the end of the ride. Everyone was okay, but they shut the Coaster down.
Regardless, I loved both of the rides and really want to go back and do them each 7 or 8 times in a row. I admit, I was chicken about it at first. I'm not a roller coaster person and I hate that out-of-control feeling, but Jason insisted we go and I'm so glad he did. The genius of these rides is that you're in your own little car and have a manual brake so you control how fast you go. I felt much more confident the second time on the Alpine Slide and was speeding along right behind Jason, but we kept getting hung up by the slow mom in front of him.
No offense to moms, but I observed that moms traveled slowest down the Alpine Slide and the Mountain Coaster. FYI, when we have kids, I will be the awesome mom speeding down the track.
I'm glad we set up camp before we headed to Attitash. We managed to get our dinner and a s'more cooked and eaten over our smoking fire, hissing with each light raindrop that hit it. We cleaned up the food (bears!) and tucked ourselves in the tent.
Another thing we have a knack for when we camp (in addition to being the best rain prediction tool out there) is finding the campsite right next to "The Bros." These are the backwards baseball cap-wearing guys, who stand around the fire with their beers, getting drunker and louder as the night wears on, inserting f-bombs in place of "um" when they speak. Charming, especially when campsites aren't really isolated at all. So we listened to The Bros for awhile, and then I managed to drift off to sleep, only to wake up at 1 AM when it started pouring rain and didn't stop for several hours. Good thing I can play Candy Crush without a cell phone signal.
The Bros woke us up at 6 AM as they packed up camp - loudly. Bros do nothing quietly. I guess they decided they would stay drier drinking their beers with their baseball caps in their apartments back in Boston. We woke up again around 9 AM, and while the day dawned a little cloudy, it started clearing up and Jason pressed on with his hiking plans. I had planned to go for a 6-mile walk through some wetlands and a wildlife preserve, but it was REALLY muggy, and I figured with all the rain the night before I would wind up really sweaty and harassed by bugs. So I hit the outlets in North Conway and found some great Fall work clothes.
I picked Jason up at about 6 PM and showed him the weather alert on my phone that came in at 4:30 saying there would be flash floods and a major storm and thunderstorms that night. Yeah, I don't think so. Jason might have wanted to stay, but I was pretty resolute that I needed some sleep at least one night this weekend. Also, based on the forecast, his plans for us to go rafting on a lake on Monday probably weren't happening.
We drove back to camp, threw our tent and everything into the car, and went to dinner. I drove us home since he had been hiking all day and we hit pieces of the HUGE storm on our way out of New Hampshire. It was seriously scary driving for a bit there, but we made it. I haven't seen lightning like that since I left Tucson, and the Arizona monsoons, behind.
So Monday wound up being a lot more low-key than we planned, but our summer weekends are usually hyper-scheduled and it was kind of nice to have a rainy day knitting at home.
Frankly, I'm kind of scared to go camping again. We always plan these super fun New Hampshire weekends and we wind up soaked with no campfire. But I'm sure we'll keep pressing on. After all, we've got all of this awesome gear!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Challenges Are Coming. Oh Yes, Challenges Are Coming
So it's September on Sunday, which...just...what?!
I can't believe the Summer is waning and Autumn is upon us. This end of Summer period is one of my, um, 17 favorite times of year. Actually, I figured out the other day that the only time of year in New England that I don't care for is July, because it's Hot and Muggy.
But then I remembered that July has the 4th, which is fun, and then there are also a couple of music festivals we enjoy in July and even though they are Very Hot and Very Muggy, they are still delightful.
In summary, New England is delightful. Yes, sometimes the Winter can drag on a touch too long, and sometimes June can be a stinker with its raininess (see 2009 and 2013), but overall, I love all of the seasons and am usually ready for the next one to roll around by the time it gets here. Today, I went to get lunch in a dress, cardigan and ballet flats and thought, "Oo, it's a little chilly!" In just a few more weeks, I know I'll be pairing tights with this outfit, and possibly a light jacket.
Anyway, with September comes new beginnings, right? I don't think most of us ever get out of that "New School Year" mindset even if we don't have kids in school. August has been a bit lax in the healthiness department. We did some traveling, I did a few workouts, I mostly ate well. But I'm revving up for September now and have a couple challenges on the horizon.
First, my swim SparkTeam is having a KISS (Keep It Simple September) Challenge, which is very much focused on doing simple things to be healthy. My simple thing: swim 30,000 yards in September. I'll break it down into 3 workouts of 2500 yards per week. This is the time of year when I often lose my momentum and wrap myself up in pumpkin bread and apple cider donuts, so this will be great motivation to keep going to the pool even as it gets cooler.
Second, my June and July Challenge group is doing a September Challenge, so I'm be responsible for doing 4 Cross Fit-esque workouts per week, plus a few weekly challenges. I've already decided that I'm going to beg off the timed mile run this time around. I'll walk a mile and call it good, but running just isn't in my cards, and I'm not willing to get shin splints for the millionth time.
With 3 cardio and 4 strength workouts per week, September should be a great (and sore) month!
I can't believe the Summer is waning and Autumn is upon us. This end of Summer period is one of my, um, 17 favorite times of year. Actually, I figured out the other day that the only time of year in New England that I don't care for is July, because it's Hot and Muggy.
But then I remembered that July has the 4th, which is fun, and then there are also a couple of music festivals we enjoy in July and even though they are Very Hot and Very Muggy, they are still delightful.
In summary, New England is delightful. Yes, sometimes the Winter can drag on a touch too long, and sometimes June can be a stinker with its raininess (see 2009 and 2013), but overall, I love all of the seasons and am usually ready for the next one to roll around by the time it gets here. Today, I went to get lunch in a dress, cardigan and ballet flats and thought, "Oo, it's a little chilly!" In just a few more weeks, I know I'll be pairing tights with this outfit, and possibly a light jacket.
Anyway, with September comes new beginnings, right? I don't think most of us ever get out of that "New School Year" mindset even if we don't have kids in school. August has been a bit lax in the healthiness department. We did some traveling, I did a few workouts, I mostly ate well. But I'm revving up for September now and have a couple challenges on the horizon.
First, my swim SparkTeam is having a KISS (Keep It Simple September) Challenge, which is very much focused on doing simple things to be healthy. My simple thing: swim 30,000 yards in September. I'll break it down into 3 workouts of 2500 yards per week. This is the time of year when I often lose my momentum and wrap myself up in pumpkin bread and apple cider donuts, so this will be great motivation to keep going to the pool even as it gets cooler.
Second, my June and July Challenge group is doing a September Challenge, so I'm be responsible for doing 4 Cross Fit-esque workouts per week, plus a few weekly challenges. I've already decided that I'm going to beg off the timed mile run this time around. I'll walk a mile and call it good, but running just isn't in my cards, and I'm not willing to get shin splints for the millionth time.
With 3 cardio and 4 strength workouts per week, September should be a great (and sore) month!
Friday, August 23, 2013
SparkPeople Meet Up
Jason calls them my imaginary friends, but they're actually real people and I got the chance to meet a few of them last week!
I've talked a lot about SparkPeople over the past few years as I've semi-diligently tracked the food I eat and the exercises I do. Another feature of SparkPeople that I have enjoyed is the SparkTeam which is a group of people who join together for basically any reason. Right now I'm in a knitting SparkTeam, a Rhode Island SparkTeam, a low carb SparkTeam and two swimming SparkTeams. Really, the only one I'm active on is "Swimming for Cardio". I joined SparkPeople probably 6 years ago - maybe more - and then found Swimming for Cardio in 2008.
The Swimming for Cardio team is made up of a fantastic group of women and a few men, who check in with each other every day. I've had times where I wasn't so diligent about keeping up with everyone, but I try to check in at least a couple of times a week now. I actually don't know a lot of swimmers locally, and Swimming for Cardio was initially just a way for me to geek out on swimming talk with people who understood, and could offer advice on technique and suggest workouts and challenges.
Turns out, though, that somehow in this particular team, not only do we all like to swim, but we have lots of other stuff in common. Or, at least, we seem to have similar worldviews. On our daily check-ins, not only do we talk about our latest swimming distances and goals, but we also talk about what's going on in our lives. We all have way too many degrees than are good for us. We support one another and sometimes talk about really personal things. A few of the members have met previously. A couple of years ago we lost one of our members to cancer, and we mourned her loss, though only a couple of the members had ever met her in real life. A couple of the members work at the same company now. All through this SparkTeam.
So a few months ago, a couple of the ladies started talking about meeting up in northern California, since 4 of them live in California. One of the members just graduated from law school and took the Bar at the end of July (you better believe we have talked about that a lot over the last few months!), so the plan was for her to fly out to California for a post-Bar trip. I casually mentioned to Jason one night how it would be fun to join them, but of course not really practical. He said, "Well, we've been wanting to go visit Brandon (his brother) and Sarah. Maybe we could plan a trip around your imaginary friends' meet up."
Really?!
So we did. We just got back from a whirlwind trip to the Bay Area, with a 3-day jaunt down to Santa Cruz for me to meet up with the swimming ladies. It was so great to meet them finally. I've been talking with some of them for 5 years, after all.
On Sunday after church, we drove down to Cupertino to visit Jason's grandparents and extended family. Then I took our rental car and drove to Santa Cruz, where one of the ladies had rented us a lovely house right around the corner from the beach. On Monday we went whale watching, to lunch and to the aquarium in Monterey.
On Tuesday, some of us went swimming at a local swim center (because, of course we went swimming together!), then to brunch, and then we met the rest of the group for manicures and pedicures at a local spa.
Afterward, a couple of the ladies went for a hike, one took a nap, and a couple of us walked down the street to sit on the beach for awhile.
(I heart Santa Cruz)
On Wednesday, we had brunch and they headed to Shaver Lake for the rest of their group vacation at one woman's family cabin, and I headed back to Oakland for the rest of my trip with the in-laws (in a future post).
My one regret is that we completely forgot to have someone take pictures of our group at the swim center in our suits, caps and goggles. Next time!
We had a great time together, and from what I've heard, the rest of the trip was lovely as well. It was so wonderful to meet these women, and to fall easily into a natural repoire with them since we already knew each other so well. This is one of those moments when I'm so grateful for the internet and the crazy random connections we can make with it. Hopefully I'll be able to meet up with them again!
I've talked a lot about SparkPeople over the past few years as I've semi-diligently tracked the food I eat and the exercises I do. Another feature of SparkPeople that I have enjoyed is the SparkTeam which is a group of people who join together for basically any reason. Right now I'm in a knitting SparkTeam, a Rhode Island SparkTeam, a low carb SparkTeam and two swimming SparkTeams. Really, the only one I'm active on is "Swimming for Cardio". I joined SparkPeople probably 6 years ago - maybe more - and then found Swimming for Cardio in 2008.
The Swimming for Cardio team is made up of a fantastic group of women and a few men, who check in with each other every day. I've had times where I wasn't so diligent about keeping up with everyone, but I try to check in at least a couple of times a week now. I actually don't know a lot of swimmers locally, and Swimming for Cardio was initially just a way for me to geek out on swimming talk with people who understood, and could offer advice on technique and suggest workouts and challenges.
Turns out, though, that somehow in this particular team, not only do we all like to swim, but we have lots of other stuff in common. Or, at least, we seem to have similar worldviews. On our daily check-ins, not only do we talk about our latest swimming distances and goals, but we also talk about what's going on in our lives. We all have way too many degrees than are good for us. We support one another and sometimes talk about really personal things. A few of the members have met previously. A couple of years ago we lost one of our members to cancer, and we mourned her loss, though only a couple of the members had ever met her in real life. A couple of the members work at the same company now. All through this SparkTeam.
So a few months ago, a couple of the ladies started talking about meeting up in northern California, since 4 of them live in California. One of the members just graduated from law school and took the Bar at the end of July (you better believe we have talked about that a lot over the last few months!), so the plan was for her to fly out to California for a post-Bar trip. I casually mentioned to Jason one night how it would be fun to join them, but of course not really practical. He said, "Well, we've been wanting to go visit Brandon (his brother) and Sarah. Maybe we could plan a trip around your imaginary friends' meet up."
Really?!
So we did. We just got back from a whirlwind trip to the Bay Area, with a 3-day jaunt down to Santa Cruz for me to meet up with the swimming ladies. It was so great to meet them finally. I've been talking with some of them for 5 years, after all.
On Sunday after church, we drove down to Cupertino to visit Jason's grandparents and extended family. Then I took our rental car and drove to Santa Cruz, where one of the ladies had rented us a lovely house right around the corner from the beach. On Monday we went whale watching, to lunch and to the aquarium in Monterey.
On Tuesday, some of us went swimming at a local swim center (because, of course we went swimming together!), then to brunch, and then we met the rest of the group for manicures and pedicures at a local spa.
Afterward, a couple of the ladies went for a hike, one took a nap, and a couple of us walked down the street to sit on the beach for awhile.
On Wednesday, we had brunch and they headed to Shaver Lake for the rest of their group vacation at one woman's family cabin, and I headed back to Oakland for the rest of my trip with the in-laws (in a future post).
My one regret is that we completely forgot to have someone take pictures of our group at the swim center in our suits, caps and goggles. Next time!
We had a great time together, and from what I've heard, the rest of the trip was lovely as well. It was so wonderful to meet these women, and to fall easily into a natural repoire with them since we already knew each other so well. This is one of those moments when I'm so grateful for the internet and the crazy random connections we can make with it. Hopefully I'll be able to meet up with them again!
Saturday, August 03, 2013
Bacon: Weight Loss Magic!
I've been a little lax on my blog, mostly because I haven't had much to share. I've been swimming a bit, and going for lots of long walks, now that the weather has cooled down from the 90s to the 80s. I've been sticking to the low-carb pretty well, with a deviation here or there (Bertucci's last Saturday, Texas Roadhouse rolls on Wednesday).
So here's the thing. In the past few weeks I've lost 11 pounds.
What?
I lost 4 pounds just this past week alone. Also a few inches, though I didn't write down the precise measurements today, just did a little casual measuring with the tape to see if the lost pounds showed up in inches. They did.
I told Jason and he asked, "What did you do different this week?"
"Nothing. Well, I ate a lot of bacon, actually."
Apparently bacon is my weight loss secret. See, last Sunday night I made us eggs and bacon for dinner and I have a bad habit of cooking part of a package of bacon and then never cooking the rest and throwing it away weeks later after it's turned green and disgusting. So I made the whole package and then took some to go with my breakfast (2 eggs) for the next couple of days. Then I liked it so much that when I stopped at Whole Foods to get breakfast a couple of times on my way into work because I didn't have time to make something, I got a little frittata and some bacon off of the pay-by-the-ounce hot bar. Because, you know what? Bacon is really light!
Bacon.
I've also noticed since my stomach thing a couple of weeks ago, I just haven't been as hungry. And I've been really listening to my body, a la Intuitive Eating, and stopping eating when I'm full, rather than overfull, no matter how delicious something is. Which means I've actually been eating a little more frequently in the afternoons and I have needed a snack every day this week because I get hungry in between lunch and dinner.
Bacon and low-carb Intuitive Eating and suddenly I'm losing weight for the first time in a couple of years.
So here's the thing. In the past few weeks I've lost 11 pounds.
What?
I lost 4 pounds just this past week alone. Also a few inches, though I didn't write down the precise measurements today, just did a little casual measuring with the tape to see if the lost pounds showed up in inches. They did.
I told Jason and he asked, "What did you do different this week?"
"Nothing. Well, I ate a lot of bacon, actually."
Apparently bacon is my weight loss secret. See, last Sunday night I made us eggs and bacon for dinner and I have a bad habit of cooking part of a package of bacon and then never cooking the rest and throwing it away weeks later after it's turned green and disgusting. So I made the whole package and then took some to go with my breakfast (2 eggs) for the next couple of days. Then I liked it so much that when I stopped at Whole Foods to get breakfast a couple of times on my way into work because I didn't have time to make something, I got a little frittata and some bacon off of the pay-by-the-ounce hot bar. Because, you know what? Bacon is really light!
Bacon.
I've also noticed since my stomach thing a couple of weeks ago, I just haven't been as hungry. And I've been really listening to my body, a la Intuitive Eating, and stopping eating when I'm full, rather than overfull, no matter how delicious something is. Which means I've actually been eating a little more frequently in the afternoons and I have needed a snack every day this week because I get hungry in between lunch and dinner.
Bacon and low-carb Intuitive Eating and suddenly I'm losing weight for the first time in a couple of years.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
July Challenge: Crash and Burn!
Okay, that title is a little melodramatic. Last week really was pretty much a bust, though, challenge-wise. On the one hand by the end of the week, my tummy was feeling a little flatter and I went for a nice long walk in the woods yesterday. However, the reason my tummy was flatter is because I didn't eat much all week long. Yeah, that's not sustainable.
Last Monday I woke up feeling absolutely exhausted and a bit nauseated. Actually, a lot nauseated. I didn't ever throw up while I was sick, but I sure felt on the verge a lot of the time. So I ate some saltines here, drank a little ginger ale there, but basically the first time I felt like eating at all was at lunchtime on Wednesday. I ate a couple ounces of chicken breast and it felt like a major victory.
Last week was the second and last week of Restaurant Week and I was determined to go, since we missed last Restaurant Week thanks to both Jason and I being knocked out with the flu. I wound up with lots of Restaurant Week leftovers.
By Thursday, I was feeling almost totally normal, and by Friday I felt great. We went to New Hampshire over the weekend for Seek the Peak, a hike up Mt Washington to raise money for the weather observatory that got delayed to Sunday due to the weather. So on Saturday we walked to some waterfalls, played mini golf and attended the now pre-hike turkey dinner. Jason and his brother climbed Mt. Washington yesterday, and I found a nice 3 1/2 mile walk in the woods with only minor elevation gain. (I can walk and walk, but I hate going up).
Even though I felt better, I still wasn't finishing my meals, and I tried to keep my food on the blander side. The bad news is, the hike down yesterday took WAY longer than they thought it would, so we couldn't stop for a real dinner, but made do with roadside ice cream and, a couple hours later, a fast food stop. I was driving, since I doubt Jason could have pushed in the clutch with his sore legs, so I was limited as to choices. Today my stomach is a little wonky again, and I know it's thanks to Wendy's.
I suppose getting a little nauseated when I eat bad-for-me food isn't the worst thing in the world. Keeps me on the straight and narrow.
In the meantime, though, my July Challenge is a bust. This is the beginning of the last week and I'm now down at the bottom of the pack thanks to no workout points and only a couple of healthy eating points for last week. Oh well. On to August!
Last Monday I woke up feeling absolutely exhausted and a bit nauseated. Actually, a lot nauseated. I didn't ever throw up while I was sick, but I sure felt on the verge a lot of the time. So I ate some saltines here, drank a little ginger ale there, but basically the first time I felt like eating at all was at lunchtime on Wednesday. I ate a couple ounces of chicken breast and it felt like a major victory.
Last week was the second and last week of Restaurant Week and I was determined to go, since we missed last Restaurant Week thanks to both Jason and I being knocked out with the flu. I wound up with lots of Restaurant Week leftovers.
By Thursday, I was feeling almost totally normal, and by Friday I felt great. We went to New Hampshire over the weekend for Seek the Peak, a hike up Mt Washington to raise money for the weather observatory that got delayed to Sunday due to the weather. So on Saturday we walked to some waterfalls, played mini golf and attended the now pre-hike turkey dinner. Jason and his brother climbed Mt. Washington yesterday, and I found a nice 3 1/2 mile walk in the woods with only minor elevation gain. (I can walk and walk, but I hate going up).
Even though I felt better, I still wasn't finishing my meals, and I tried to keep my food on the blander side. The bad news is, the hike down yesterday took WAY longer than they thought it would, so we couldn't stop for a real dinner, but made do with roadside ice cream and, a couple hours later, a fast food stop. I was driving, since I doubt Jason could have pushed in the clutch with his sore legs, so I was limited as to choices. Today my stomach is a little wonky again, and I know it's thanks to Wendy's.
I suppose getting a little nauseated when I eat bad-for-me food isn't the worst thing in the world. Keeps me on the straight and narrow.
In the meantime, though, my July Challenge is a bust. This is the beginning of the last week and I'm now down at the bottom of the pack thanks to no workout points and only a couple of healthy eating points for last week. Oh well. On to August!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Sensitive Subjects
I gave myself June before I decided I definitely needed help. In June I participated in the June Challenge, as you all know. I stuck to the food plan (low-carb) 5 or 6 out of 7 days per week and spent those 4 weeks doing a nice mix of cardio and strength training. I felt good, physically, and thought, surely I will see improvement either via the scale or measuring tape.
When all was said and done, no improvement. My clothes fit the same. My body composition isn't changing and I'm not losing weight.
Jason sometimes complains about how many vegetables we eat. A lot of my friends make comments to me about what an inspiration I am with my diligent workouts. But the truth is, I haven't seen the scale or the measuring tape go anywhere but up for a couple of years now. I eat low-carb because I honestly feel better eating this way, not because I'm trying to lose weight quick. I work out because it helps my mental well-being. Sometimes, though, I wish I would see some physical results for all my hard work and it can be really (really, really) discouraging when I don't.
Jason started saying to me several months ago that maybe I should go see an endocrinologist or similar because no matter how sedentary my job is, something's just not right. After my June experiment, I started looking into getting help.
I know I'll never be skinny. I know I'll never be "Normal" on the BMI because of how I'm built. I don't want to be skinny or normal, I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
So this week, I went to see a doctor. I did some research and found someone who is sympathetic to low-carb, and whose entire ethos, according to his website, is something I can get on board with. He sat with me for a half hour and we talked about my background, my parents and their backgrounds and health, the things I've done in the past, what brought me to him. I liked him a lot and we had a good repoire.
I'm not so sure about what I think he might be recommending. I'm getting blood work done and meeting with his weight-loss specialist next week, and I already have several (skepticism-laden) questions for her. But, as Jason pointed out, nothing I've done so far has been working, so I might as well give this a whirl, right?
When all was said and done, no improvement. My clothes fit the same. My body composition isn't changing and I'm not losing weight.
Jason sometimes complains about how many vegetables we eat. A lot of my friends make comments to me about what an inspiration I am with my diligent workouts. But the truth is, I haven't seen the scale or the measuring tape go anywhere but up for a couple of years now. I eat low-carb because I honestly feel better eating this way, not because I'm trying to lose weight quick. I work out because it helps my mental well-being. Sometimes, though, I wish I would see some physical results for all my hard work and it can be really (really, really) discouraging when I don't.
Jason started saying to me several months ago that maybe I should go see an endocrinologist or similar because no matter how sedentary my job is, something's just not right. After my June experiment, I started looking into getting help.
I know I'll never be skinny. I know I'll never be "Normal" on the BMI because of how I'm built. I don't want to be skinny or normal, I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
So this week, I went to see a doctor. I did some research and found someone who is sympathetic to low-carb, and whose entire ethos, according to his website, is something I can get on board with. He sat with me for a half hour and we talked about my background, my parents and their backgrounds and health, the things I've done in the past, what brought me to him. I liked him a lot and we had a good repoire.
I'm not so sure about what I think he might be recommending. I'm getting blood work done and meeting with his weight-loss specialist next week, and I already have several (skepticism-laden) questions for her. But, as Jason pointed out, nothing I've done so far has been working, so I might as well give this a whirl, right?
Monday, July 08, 2013
July Challenges
I'm still not sure how I made out in the June Challenge because the organizer went to Spain for a month) and didn't send us the final tallies before she left. I'm pretty positive my friend Deborah smoked us all and got first. I'm just curious as to whether I got second place, or wound up third. I'm pretty pleased with my progress over the month, though, of course, I didn't lose weight.
For the month of July (well, the 1st through the 28th), the same group is doing a very mellow version of the challenge (see above re: organizer in Spain), and reporting back to the group once a week. We get a point for each day we eat on plan, a point for 3 days of working out, a point for each additional workout day, and 5 points at the end of the month for fulfilling a challenge goal we set for ourselves.
Last week wasn't great because of the holiday and because we went to a 2-day music festival and there's nothing but crap food there. Seriously, by the end of day 2, I was craving vegetables. Maybe I should have counted 2 days of wandering around between stages and craft vendors in 90+ muggy degrees with heat advisories in effect as "working out", but I didn't. Still, I like to think I'm more virtuous because of how much I sweat this weekend.
Since I'm also doing a 10,000 steps per day challenge, my goal for the July Challenge is to walk 10,000 steps per day for 24 out of 28 of the challenge days. I think I need to give myself 1 day a week not to hit 10,000, in case of unforeseen circumstances. Or foreseen circumstances even. For instance, Jason's dad is leaving town today so we went out for breakfast. Work has been a little nutty today, so no time for a lunch walk. And I have a meeting tonight that will probably go to 9 PM. So I'll be happy to reach 5,000 steps today.
I've said it before, but what I wouldn't give for a Walkstation...
So that's what's up for July. Trying to get my brain back into Challenge mode after a few days off.
For the month of July (well, the 1st through the 28th), the same group is doing a very mellow version of the challenge (see above re: organizer in Spain), and reporting back to the group once a week. We get a point for each day we eat on plan, a point for 3 days of working out, a point for each additional workout day, and 5 points at the end of the month for fulfilling a challenge goal we set for ourselves.
Last week wasn't great because of the holiday and because we went to a 2-day music festival and there's nothing but crap food there. Seriously, by the end of day 2, I was craving vegetables. Maybe I should have counted 2 days of wandering around between stages and craft vendors in 90+ muggy degrees with heat advisories in effect as "working out", but I didn't. Still, I like to think I'm more virtuous because of how much I sweat this weekend.
Since I'm also doing a 10,000 steps per day challenge, my goal for the July Challenge is to walk 10,000 steps per day for 24 out of 28 of the challenge days. I think I need to give myself 1 day a week not to hit 10,000, in case of unforeseen circumstances. Or foreseen circumstances even. For instance, Jason's dad is leaving town today so we went out for breakfast. Work has been a little nutty today, so no time for a lunch walk. And I have a meeting tonight that will probably go to 9 PM. So I'll be happy to reach 5,000 steps today.
I've said it before, but what I wouldn't give for a Walkstation...
So that's what's up for July. Trying to get my brain back into Challenge mode after a few days off.
Monday, July 01, 2013
Carb Hangover
Sometimes I think I'm just being a prima donna and making up this little wheat/carb sensitivity thing to, I don't know, make myself feel special? Be high maintenance?
Well, this hangover I have this morning is definitely not all in my head.
I was on course to have 6 out of 7 days on plan for the last week of the June Challenge. However, we wound up staying for this fundraiser at church yesterday for the Young Men's (ages 12-17) summer camp. I thought it would be a buffet so I could load my plate up with salad and then have some turkey or something when I got home. But they actually served us a first course of salad, then rolls and spaghetti, then cookies (and the boys were adorable!).
So I basically carb-loaded yesterday in preparation for my hard day at work sitting on my bum.
Plus, last night I discovered we still had some Dancing Deer Molasses Clove Cookies that a friend brought to a concert we went to Friday night and then gave to us, and which I virtuously did not eat on Friday, but figured last night that I had already consumed a great big carb bomb so might as well eat a couple of cookies too, right?
Anyway, this morning I was supposed to go swimming, but I felt terrible and just wanted to sleep. So I texted Rebecca and said I wouldn't make it, then slept hard for another hour and a half. I'm still feeling pretty groggy.
The moral of the story is, even if I'm not losing weight by eating low-carb (because I'm not. Sigh.), I feel so much better overall that it's worth it to stick to the plan as much as possible.
Well, this hangover I have this morning is definitely not all in my head.
I was on course to have 6 out of 7 days on plan for the last week of the June Challenge. However, we wound up staying for this fundraiser at church yesterday for the Young Men's (ages 12-17) summer camp. I thought it would be a buffet so I could load my plate up with salad and then have some turkey or something when I got home. But they actually served us a first course of salad, then rolls and spaghetti, then cookies (and the boys were adorable!).
So I basically carb-loaded yesterday in preparation for my hard day at work sitting on my bum.
Plus, last night I discovered we still had some Dancing Deer Molasses Clove Cookies that a friend brought to a concert we went to Friday night and then gave to us, and which I virtuously did not eat on Friday, but figured last night that I had already consumed a great big carb bomb so might as well eat a couple of cookies too, right?
Anyway, this morning I was supposed to go swimming, but I felt terrible and just wanted to sleep. So I texted Rebecca and said I wouldn't make it, then slept hard for another hour and a half. I'm still feeling pretty groggy.
The moral of the story is, even if I'm not losing weight by eating low-carb (because I'm not. Sigh.), I feel so much better overall that it's worth it to stick to the plan as much as possible.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Kickboxing No More
After getting all psyched about kickboxing, and planning to buy a whole mess of classes from the instructor, I've been thwarted.
So I signed up for his email list several weeks ago so I could stay on top of what was going on at the gym and be aware of any specials he was running. First of all, he sent out a couple of suspect emails about this nutrition/supplement program that he sells. I mean, fine, if you find something you like, I guess that's okay, but this was a multi-level marketing scenario, and I'm not going to shell out a bunch of money for bars and shakes and pills, when I personally want to focus on eating whole foods, thanks.
Then we get an email out of the blue last week announcing that as of July 1, he's moving his gym. Not only is the new gym about twice as far away from me, but he won't have storage for his big punching bags so no more kickboxing. But he assured us he would still be putting on awesome boot camp classes.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I enjoyed the boot camp/Cross Fit aspect of his classes, but I also liked the 20-30 minutes in the second half of class when we focused on kickboxing. Because it's just fun to hit and kick a big bag. Also, it's the boot camp aspect of class that hurt my shins a lot. Plyometrics are the bane of my existence.
So, I won't be traveling to his new gym. I might be willing to, if the kickboxing was still going to be a part of it, because overall I did like him, but there's a few strikes against him, and his classes are pretty pricey for me to not get exactly what I want.
Sigh. Now I need to find a new kickboxing class.
So I signed up for his email list several weeks ago so I could stay on top of what was going on at the gym and be aware of any specials he was running. First of all, he sent out a couple of suspect emails about this nutrition/supplement program that he sells. I mean, fine, if you find something you like, I guess that's okay, but this was a multi-level marketing scenario, and I'm not going to shell out a bunch of money for bars and shakes and pills, when I personally want to focus on eating whole foods, thanks.
Then we get an email out of the blue last week announcing that as of July 1, he's moving his gym. Not only is the new gym about twice as far away from me, but he won't have storage for his big punching bags so no more kickboxing. But he assured us he would still be putting on awesome boot camp classes.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I enjoyed the boot camp/Cross Fit aspect of his classes, but I also liked the 20-30 minutes in the second half of class when we focused on kickboxing. Because it's just fun to hit and kick a big bag. Also, it's the boot camp aspect of class that hurt my shins a lot. Plyometrics are the bane of my existence.
So, I won't be traveling to his new gym. I might be willing to, if the kickboxing was still going to be a part of it, because overall I did like him, but there's a few strikes against him, and his classes are pretty pricey for me to not get exactly what I want.
Sigh. Now I need to find a new kickboxing class.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Is Obesity A Disease?
The AMA recently adopted a policy stating that obesity is a disease:
On the other hand, I am really, really cynical.
First of all, there's this information from Dr. William Davis, who Tom Naughton cited on his blog:
Another big glaring issue for me is, how are we defining "obese"? Are we still using BMI to determine who is "obese"? Because there are loads of articles and analyses out there about the flawed nature of the BMI. For one, it doesn't take body composition into account, and so you get professional athletes who are "overweight" or "obese", per the BMI. Not to mention recent reports that people who are fit but slightly overweight, per the BMI definition, actually have pretty good health markers, such as cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar and resting heart rate. Or the research indicating that overweight and even slightly obese people might have lower mortality rates than "normal"-weight people. From the New York Times article:
“Recognizing obesity as a disease will help change the way the medical community tackles this complex issue that affects approximately one in three Americans,” said AMA board member Patrice Harris, M.D. “The AMA is committed to improving health outcomes and is working to reduce the incidence of cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes, which are often linked to obesity.”The internets have been all a flutter about this, if you happen to read health and fitness and diet blogs like I do. While this policy decision has no binding authority, the opinions of the AMA are often influential in guiding government policy and insurer practices. On the one hand, I'm kind of hopeful that maybe this means things like preventative care and gym memberships and delicate hormonal tests to show what is happening within an individual's body will receive more focus from providers and reimbursement from insurers.
On the other hand, I am really, really cynical.
First of all, there's this information from Dr. William Davis, who Tom Naughton cited on his blog:
Well, it’s hard to know how the internal discussions at the AMA went until we get a look at the transcripts. But let’s take a look at the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC). I believe it tells the whole story.
The OAC Board of Directors is filled with bariatric surgeons, such as Drs. Titus Duncan and Lloyd Stegemann, people who make a living from procedures and surgeries like gastric bypass and lap-band. The largest contributors to the OAC? Eisai Pharmaceuticals, maker of BELVIQ, the new drug for weight loss; Ethicon EndoSurgery, makers of laparoscopic operating room supplies; Vivus, Inc., another obesity drug maker; the American Society for Bariatric Surgeons; and Orexigen, developer of the combination drug naltrexone-buproprion for weight loss, now in FDA application stage. (Recall that naltrexone is the opiate blocking drug taken by heroin addicts but now being proposed to gain approval for weight loss.)Second, my own personal gut reaction (Gut! Ha!) to all of this is that obesity isn't a disease, but a manifestation of other problems, like insulin resistance or other hormonal imbalances. For example, excess amounts of cortisol (the so-called stress hormone) have been shown to increase belly fat. Further, some people are more insulin-resistant than others and thus can tolerate fewer carbohydrates in their diets. There's a whole mess of biochemical reactions going on in our bodies, influenced by diet, exercise, and other environmental factors, and one of the results can be obesity.
In other words, while it is being cast as something being done for the public good, the motivation is more likely to be … money: Bariatric surgeons gain by expanding the market for their procedures to patients who previously did not have insurance coverage for this “non-disease”; operating room supply manufacturers will sell more equipment for the dramatically increased number of surgical procedures; obesity drug manufacturers will have the clout to pressure health insurers to cover the drugs for this new disease.
Another big glaring issue for me is, how are we defining "obese"? Are we still using BMI to determine who is "obese"? Because there are loads of articles and analyses out there about the flawed nature of the BMI. For one, it doesn't take body composition into account, and so you get professional athletes who are "overweight" or "obese", per the BMI. Not to mention recent reports that people who are fit but slightly overweight, per the BMI definition, actually have pretty good health markers, such as cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar and resting heart rate. Or the research indicating that overweight and even slightly obese people might have lower mortality rates than "normal"-weight people. From the New York Times article:
The report, in The Journal of the American Medical Association, suggests that B.M.I., a ratio of height to weight, should not be the only indicator of healthy weight. “Body mass index is an imperfect measure of the risk of mortality,” and factors like blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar must be considered, said Dr. Samuel Klein, director of the Center for Human Nutrition at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis.I'm not saying this is perfect research, I'm just saying there are a lot of factors playing into what makes someone obese, and there are a lot of unknowns. After trying to lose weight for a few years and only gaining, I am solidly in the "obese" category. However, I don't want to pop a pill, with whatever side effects come along with that. I want to figure out what's going on in my body and try to work within that knowledge. Maybe making obesity a disease means that more investigation into the complex causes of it will get funded, but, to me, labeling obesity as a disease seems way too simplistic.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Challenge Part Deux
This week is the last week of the June Challenge (since, you know, it's the last week of June). I did okay last week, but not great. I wound up never doing the 4th weekly workout because I ran out of time. Technically, I could have done it yesterday, but it was hot and we have no air conditioning on the 1st floor of our house and I just couldn't work up the enthusiasm for 5 rounds of burpees and a bunch of other things that make me tired and sweaty.
Starting yesterday, though, I'm taking part in another challenge. A blogger I read got a Fitbit a little while ago and walked a lot and lost some weight and now she's decided to have a challenge where we all focus on walking a lot and maybe win some prizes. The goal is to walk 10,000 steps per day, which is hard when most of my day is spent sitting on my bum in front of the computer.
I still plan to swim, and if the June Challenge lady decides to do a July Challenge, I'm going to do that too, but my daily goal from yesterday until August 3rd is to walk 10,000 steps per day.
We had to send before photos and our measurements and weight. Given my lack of success with weight loss lately (read: over the last 2-3 years), I honestly don't know if I'll lose weight or see any improvement in my measurements. But, like with the June Challenge, I like having a challenge to make me really focus on a particular fitness goal.
So, last night, when it finally cooled down a little, I went for a walk as the sun was setting. I forgot that's also the buggy time of the day, so I have a few new mosquito bites, and I might have swallowed a couple of gnats, BUT I got 12,000 steps.
This morning, Rebecca and I swam and I think the fact that we only swam 1600 meters proves that we talk too much and that we need to get back in the habit of walking together because when we walk, we can talk. We can't even social kick (kick and talk) at the crowded Brown pool. Now that I'm trying to get 10,000 steps per day, I'm going to have to rope her into going on some walks with me.
After work, I'm going to go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for awhile, since it's freaking hot again today. To be more precise, it's 92 with a 97 heat index. For this girl who grew up in Tucson, that means I step outside and immediately start sweating. Pretty!
Starting yesterday, though, I'm taking part in another challenge. A blogger I read got a Fitbit a little while ago and walked a lot and lost some weight and now she's decided to have a challenge where we all focus on walking a lot and maybe win some prizes. The goal is to walk 10,000 steps per day, which is hard when most of my day is spent sitting on my bum in front of the computer.
I still plan to swim, and if the June Challenge lady decides to do a July Challenge, I'm going to do that too, but my daily goal from yesterday until August 3rd is to walk 10,000 steps per day.
We had to send before photos and our measurements and weight. Given my lack of success with weight loss lately (read: over the last 2-3 years), I honestly don't know if I'll lose weight or see any improvement in my measurements. But, like with the June Challenge, I like having a challenge to make me really focus on a particular fitness goal.
So, last night, when it finally cooled down a little, I went for a walk as the sun was setting. I forgot that's also the buggy time of the day, so I have a few new mosquito bites, and I might have swallowed a couple of gnats, BUT I got 12,000 steps.
This morning, Rebecca and I swam and I think the fact that we only swam 1600 meters proves that we talk too much and that we need to get back in the habit of walking together because when we walk, we can talk. We can't even social kick (kick and talk) at the crowded Brown pool. Now that I'm trying to get 10,000 steps per day, I'm going to have to rope her into going on some walks with me.
After work, I'm going to go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for awhile, since it's freaking hot again today. To be more precise, it's 92 with a 97 heat index. For this girl who grew up in Tucson, that means I step outside and immediately start sweating. Pretty!
Friday, June 21, 2013
A Little Worn Out - But Strong
This morning I'm feeling a little worn out. Yesterday I swam 2200 meters (in a long course pool! Plus, meters are longer than yards so you should be impressed!), then last night I did 2 of the June Challenge workouts (because I can't do one tonight and I'm running out of time this week), plus the weekly plank challenge, plus the weekly Tabata squat challenge.
I think my main issue is that I need to stop doing these workouts after dinner. Usually by the time I get home, I'm hungry and I want to make dinner, or I've picked up dinner, and I want to eat. Then I let my food settle, and THEN I tackle the workouts. I did this both Wednesday night and last night. I didn't finish until 9:20 PM last night, and then I was all full of energy and endorphins and didn't feel even a little tired until after 11, which isn't ideal when I want to get up at 6 to go swim.
So both yesterday morning and this morning I was dragging because I didn't get to sleep until late. Today's workout was very fin heavy, to compensate, but I'm ok with that.
Have I mentioned my legs muscles are really starting to pop? At least they are to me. During the St. John race, Jason took a picture of me running into the surf to start my swim. Although I'm not thrilled with the picture generally (belly rolls and overall bigness, ugh!), I did notice a line down the side of my thigh - the outline of my muscle! There are strong muscles under this cellulite just waiting to come out. I'm doing my best to uncover them!
Also, Rebecca and I got to feel a little superior today because the two guys she shared a lane with were absolutely dying. I have a feeling they are training for a triathlon and this was one of their first times trying to knock out a swim. Afterwards, I commented to her that I can't really talk since I can't run worth anything. She said, yeah, but she doesn't think people realize how taxing swimming is, cardiovascularly. It's true. I may be heavy, but my resting heart rate is obscenely low.
So strong heart and strong muscles - I suppose I'll take those over being skinny.
I think my main issue is that I need to stop doing these workouts after dinner. Usually by the time I get home, I'm hungry and I want to make dinner, or I've picked up dinner, and I want to eat. Then I let my food settle, and THEN I tackle the workouts. I did this both Wednesday night and last night. I didn't finish until 9:20 PM last night, and then I was all full of energy and endorphins and didn't feel even a little tired until after 11, which isn't ideal when I want to get up at 6 to go swim.
So both yesterday morning and this morning I was dragging because I didn't get to sleep until late. Today's workout was very fin heavy, to compensate, but I'm ok with that.
Have I mentioned my legs muscles are really starting to pop? At least they are to me. During the St. John race, Jason took a picture of me running into the surf to start my swim. Although I'm not thrilled with the picture generally (belly rolls and overall bigness, ugh!), I did notice a line down the side of my thigh - the outline of my muscle! There are strong muscles under this cellulite just waiting to come out. I'm doing my best to uncover them!
Also, Rebecca and I got to feel a little superior today because the two guys she shared a lane with were absolutely dying. I have a feeling they are training for a triathlon and this was one of their first times trying to knock out a swim. Afterwards, I commented to her that I can't really talk since I can't run worth anything. She said, yeah, but she doesn't think people realize how taxing swimming is, cardiovascularly. It's true. I may be heavy, but my resting heart rate is obscenely low.
So strong heart and strong muscles - I suppose I'll take those over being skinny.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
June Challenge Week 2: 2nd Place!
The Week 2 results came out yesterday and I'm still in 2nd place with a total of 29 points! Deborah has shot ahead in 1st place with 32 points. 3rd place is only one point behind me so I need to be diligent this week.
I was aiming for 7 days of on-track eating this week, but Starbucks foiled my plans this morning. I've started going straight to work from the gym, which makes cooking eggs for breakfast kind of tough. So I've opted for Starbucks Greek yogurt. I toss their granola and mix in my own blend of a variety of sunflower seeds, chia seeds, craisins and unsweetened coconut. It's not ideal, but it gets me some protein and isn't too high on the carbs.
This morning they were out of Greek yogurt. So my options were the regular high-sugar yogurt with berries; sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich; or a pastry of some sort. The sandwich seemed like the best option, since at least I would get some protein. I'm fully expecting a carb crash in an hour or so.
The challenge organizer sent an email yesterday asking if anyone is interested in a July challenge and if anyone has suggestions.
While I used to be the sit back and let other people make suggestions and nod in agreement type of person, I've noticed lately that I'm all about giving suggestions. For instance, my firm is redoing its website and has hired fancy designers and I'm pretty sure that they are very sick of my suggested tweaks. They don't necessarily take my suggestions, but I always have 3 or 4 to make.
Anyway, my point is, of course I had suggestions!
First of all, I suggested adding a steps element to the challenge - 1 point for every day we get over 10,000 steps. This is a self-serving suggestion since I'm also thinking about joining a Fitbit step challenge next week that runs through July, so I could knock out the requirements for 2 separate challenges by walking 10,000 steps per day.
Second, I suggested that instead of a mandatory mile run every week, we be able to do comparable activity in another sport. For instance, I could swim a 450 for time, with a goal of improving that time every week. This isn't just about the fact that I don't like to run, although that's part of it. But honestly a big reason why I don't like to run is because I hurt myself every single time. I ran/walked my mile on Saturday, and then Sunday I did a bunch of jumping jacks for one of the workouts, and here it is Thursday and I'm still limping around. My shins hurt. They were just starting to feel better before the run last Saturday, and as soon as I started running (not walking. Walking is fine.), the pain shot through my legs with every step.
Yesterday, not even kidding, I almost fell down the stairs because my left leg wanted to give out. I had to grab the railing and steady myself.
So, yeah, I know I've whined about this on here many times before, but I'm just going to say it again: I'm not built to be a runner.
I told the organizer that I would be willing to forego any chance at a point for the best time for the mile run for the first week (since it's obvious I'm not winning that point anyway!) if I can swim instead of run. We'll see what she decides to do.
I was aiming for 7 days of on-track eating this week, but Starbucks foiled my plans this morning. I've started going straight to work from the gym, which makes cooking eggs for breakfast kind of tough. So I've opted for Starbucks Greek yogurt. I toss their granola and mix in my own blend of a variety of sunflower seeds, chia seeds, craisins and unsweetened coconut. It's not ideal, but it gets me some protein and isn't too high on the carbs.
This morning they were out of Greek yogurt. So my options were the regular high-sugar yogurt with berries; sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich; or a pastry of some sort. The sandwich seemed like the best option, since at least I would get some protein. I'm fully expecting a carb crash in an hour or so.
The challenge organizer sent an email yesterday asking if anyone is interested in a July challenge and if anyone has suggestions.
While I used to be the sit back and let other people make suggestions and nod in agreement type of person, I've noticed lately that I'm all about giving suggestions. For instance, my firm is redoing its website and has hired fancy designers and I'm pretty sure that they are very sick of my suggested tweaks. They don't necessarily take my suggestions, but I always have 3 or 4 to make.
Anyway, my point is, of course I had suggestions!
First of all, I suggested adding a steps element to the challenge - 1 point for every day we get over 10,000 steps. This is a self-serving suggestion since I'm also thinking about joining a Fitbit step challenge next week that runs through July, so I could knock out the requirements for 2 separate challenges by walking 10,000 steps per day.
Second, I suggested that instead of a mandatory mile run every week, we be able to do comparable activity in another sport. For instance, I could swim a 450 for time, with a goal of improving that time every week. This isn't just about the fact that I don't like to run, although that's part of it. But honestly a big reason why I don't like to run is because I hurt myself every single time. I ran/walked my mile on Saturday, and then Sunday I did a bunch of jumping jacks for one of the workouts, and here it is Thursday and I'm still limping around. My shins hurt. They were just starting to feel better before the run last Saturday, and as soon as I started running (not walking. Walking is fine.), the pain shot through my legs with every step.
Yesterday, not even kidding, I almost fell down the stairs because my left leg wanted to give out. I had to grab the railing and steady myself.
So, yeah, I know I've whined about this on here many times before, but I'm just going to say it again: I'm not built to be a runner.
I told the organizer that I would be willing to forego any chance at a point for the best time for the mile run for the first week (since it's obvious I'm not winning that point anyway!) if I can swim instead of run. We'll see what she decides to do.
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