Jason informs me that I appear to be unhealthily obsessed with food.
In other news, the sky is blue.
Actually, I took affront to his comments initially, but I realize he's probably right to a degree. Granted, if you just read this blog (which is what he was doing at the time), I come off as thinking and talking and living for food and exercise only. I do have another blog. I do have other things I do. For instance, the other night while Jason worked on a paper, I listened to ghost stories on my ipod and crocheted a couple squares for a baby blanket I'm making.
Really, what I'm trying to do here is figure out what works for my body. What makes me feel the best I can. Thus far, I have discovered that eating a lot of sugar/white flour on a regular basis makes me feel like crap. I have discovered that a higher protein diet gives me more energy and keeps me more full (I mean "diet" in the what I eat every day sense, not the restricting calories for weight loss sense).
This blog has been useful recently to vent my frustrations about not losing weight. But also to celebrate my victories - particularly with regard to what I can accomplish physically. OK, not so much since I got bronchitis, but before that I was having a lot of fun doing new things with my work outs.
The thing is, I come by my food issues naturally. Both of my parents have been obese for as long as I can remember. Their weights have been up and down for years. My grandpa was obese. My grandma was obsessed with her weight and always made sure to comment on whether it looked like I had lost weight or not. In addition to food issues, there are also alcohol and drug issues and other signs that maybe my family hasn't quite figured out how to cope with things yet. For me, my issue is food, and I know that. Maybe it would be alcohol, but I don't drink. I find that when I give myself license to just eat whatever, I do exactly that. Having a sugar restriction helps me keep that under control. I try to limit the sugar in our home. I mean, if I was an alcoholic would I buy big bottles of vodka on a regular basis, just to have around, just in case?
Frankly, judging by the rapid disappearance of a giant bag of Red Vines, I don't think Jason is such a paragon of self control. So I think it's best we just don't bring it into the house.
I'm trying to get to a place where I can eat healthy without thinking about it and not be tempted beyond what I can bear by a tray of mini desserts (like, ahem, on Friday night). I think generally I do pretty well with that, but sometimes I go off the wagon in a big way. So for now, maybe this blog will reflect a bit of an obsession. I'm working on it.