True Confessions

Alright, I'm going to be honest. I lost 17 pounds in 2008. I gained 14 of them back by December 31.

I believe I did something shockingly similar in 2007.

I don't know what it's going to take for me to not sabotage 9 months of hard work in the last 3 months of the year, but something has got to change. Oh, I know, maybe all of that "Just one little this" and "A taste of that" throughout the months of October to December isn't helping. Maybe.

Today I started Phase One of the South Beach Diet again in an effort to have some rigid guidelines to stick to. Jason thinks it's bad when I go to extremes, cutting out sugar and, for the next couple of weeks, carbs. But he doesn't understand that this is how I work. I need limits, or else I give myself way too much leeway. One cookie becomes 15 (that was Friday. I walked home Friday with an awful stomach ache because of cookies. How dumb am I?)

Also, Jason? Not the pinnacle of health and fitness that you might think.

I began today fully intending to walk to and from work, but it's a giant ice slick outside. I made it about 4 blocks and after nearly falling 5 or 6 times, I decided to hop on the bus after all. Maybe it will be more mushy and less icey out by the time I leave tonight.

I'm trying to get more motivated about exercising. I've had a sore throat for about 5 days and that's not helping matters. It's a sick type of sore throat - the kind that hurts when you swallow and makes me feel like chopping off my head when I first wake up in the morning because it's been so long since I've had any water. Usually sore throats like this evolve into a full-on head cold after a couple of days, but so far, no cold. Just a sore throat. Which is annoying and makes me not feel quite up to snuff.

Tomorrow morning I'll do Pilates and try to walk to work again. Once I get my new swimsuit I'm going to get it together and get back in the pool.

I can't even express how frustrating it is to start yet another new year back at square one.