Thursday, June 14, 2007


My roommate commented to me last night how much it really looks like I'm losing weight. She could tell before, but it's just getting really noticeable.

On that note, the scale this morning read 182.2. It's not my official weigh-in, but is notable because it means I've lost exactly 20 pounds since January 31. In the weirdest way, I'm freaked out. 185 was the magic number before. It was the lowest I got during the summer of 2005 the last time I lost weight. For the past couple of weeks, my weight has been consistently under 185. I'm greedy for it to keep going down, but at the same time my immediate, gut reaction this morning was to say out loud, "Well, that's a little scary."

Why? Why is it scary? Because I'm becoming not the fat girl anymore? Maybe soon I won't even be the chubby girl anymore? I don't really have an answer and I'm kind of surprised about the trepidation I feel. Not that I'm going to stop my efforts. I want to get down to 160. But I'm a little freaked out.


Kim said...

Don't freak out. Seriously. You are being smart and healthy and active - you have nothing to fear. :)

And congrats on the 20 pound loss!!!!! :)

Lady Rose said...

Totally awesome and congrats! :) Lady Rose

Kate said...

Totally awesome, congrats on the 20lbs lost. We've been on about the same amount of time, and I'm a bit behind you! Way to go!

Anonymous said...

You will play a different role in life in terms of how people perceive you. Since how you look is the first thing a person notices about you, you will be received by people differently. Change is scary. You're not used to the reaction you're getting and it will take a while, but just act like everything is normal and it will be soon enough!

This is really good for your health. Keep it up!!!

Don't let it go to your head of course, it will always be something you have to focus on: eating properly, working out.

Just keep at it, we all believe in you.

Aldana said...

Hey Kelly,

I'm Aldana from the swimming team and I just found your blog. I think I can relate to what you're telling here. I haven't been under 190 in a while and now that I am it feels weird but in a good way. I agree in that changes are scary but I use this mantra that it helps me not freak out: "Change is for the good even if we don't know it just yet".

Good luck!

Lily T said...

Very interesting observation.