60 laps last night.
In church on Sunday we had a discussion at the beginning of class about what makes us happy. One woman said that her body makes her happy. It works and it's athletic and she can accomplish many things with her body. The phrase the teacher wrote on the board to describe this was "Positive Physicality."
That is my new favorite phrase and I think I need to work on making it a part of who I am. A lot of times I look at myself and I see the rolls and the cellulite. I, like most other women, dress the best I can to hide what I see as my physical flaws.
I have sort of a love/hate relationship with my body. I like my curves and like the attention that I get because of them. However, I would prefer curvy, but on a smaller scale. I am happy that my body works and allows me to swim and walk home from work. But I'm so apt to look at women around me and wish that my legs were that small or my bum could fit into pants like that.
However, when I swim I feel strong, especially afterwards when the endorphins are coursing through my veins. I look at my large legs and I see them toning up as the muscles remember these actions they've been doing since I was six years old. My powerful legs allowed me to compete in butterfly and be the fastest female freestyler in my league at one point. Swimming is the one thing I do really well and I am grateful that I have a body that is still capable of moving through the water. After I swim I am the embodiment of positive physicality.
So my calves don't fit in boots and my lower body will always be a size larger than my upper body. It's okay. I swim.