OK, so I'm trying to be all positive and upbeat about this whole weight thing. I realize my 30 Day Challenge can't be perfect right now because there is literally too much other stuff going on. I realize that I need to eat better and I generally am, but there is also hot chocolate and Christmas brownies around and I'm only human.
And when I say that, I'm not trying to cover up binging behavior. I've actually never binged. I guess I just generally overeat. Or something. I suppose I overeat the wrong things (hello, carbs). I like food. And it shows.
Then tonight my in-laws took a couple of pictures of us in front of our Christmas tree to take home with them. We thought maybe we could use one to quickly churn out a Christmas card. I uploaded the pictures to my computer and just stared, aghast. Rolls and yuckiness and my face looks not happy.
I just...
I really...
I don't know how I let it get this far.
I feel gross, frankly, and I find myself doing weird machinations with my clothes to try to kid myself into thinking I'm actually hiding something. The pictures show me I am hiding nothing.
3 comments:
I have been studiously avoiding cameras myself lately. Keep your chin up, honey, I think you look beautiful.
Oh, I know how you feel. I just saw a picture taken of me on Sunday--it was a long shot of my body--and I couldn't justify how awful I looked based on my crummy posture alone.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. It's so hard to be good around the holidays, and given how conscientious you've been about exercise and food, I think that's a huge success in itself.
Oh my goodness, gracious, Kelly, you break my heart! Your follow-up post says it best. Follow THAT advice! You really are very beautiful. And very healthy. And very fulfilled and happy in an amazing life that you live fully every day. Be at peace in that. No one wants more from you.
big hugs from mnjenn
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