For years I have lusted after boots to wear in the winter. Pants fit me weird (15 inch difference between my hips and my waist), so I wear skirts and dresses, even in the coldest days of winter.
Well, when it's really cold, I wear sweatpants into work and then change. But the point is, my legs are cold.
I was assured that Lane Bryant had boots that would fit the most substantial of calves. I happily ordered 3 pairs (since I can just return them to the store) and tried them on this morning.
No good. Not even the fat lady boots fit my giant calves. Siiiiiigghhhhh.
Actually, I did get one pair zipped up, but it was a little squished and when I took a step the entire boot, and its synthetic material, made this awful squeaking sound. The other 2 pairs weren't even close to zipping up.
I was so excited to have boots this winter, and now I'm just sad that I'm so fat. Bleh.