Boots

For years I have lusted after boots to wear in the winter.  Pants fit me weird (15 inch difference between my hips and my waist), so I wear skirts and dresses, even in the coldest days of winter. 

Well, when it's really cold, I wear sweatpants into work and then change.  But the point is, my legs are cold.

I was assured that Lane Bryant had boots that would fit the most substantial of calves.  I happily ordered 3 pairs (since I can just return them to the store) and tried them on this morning.

No good.  Not even the fat lady boots fit my giant calves.  Siiiiiigghhhhh.

Actually, I did get one pair zipped up, but it was a little squished and when I took a step the entire boot, and its synthetic material, made this awful squeaking sound.  The other 2 pairs weren't even close to zipping up. 

I was so excited to have boots this winter, and now I'm just sad that I'm so fat.  Bleh.