Thursday, May 31, 2012

Let's Do This!

Alright, I'm sick of half-a**ing this.  I'm biting the bullet and doing a Paleo Whole30, starting tomorrow.  (See, 'cause there are 30 days in June).

I just got back from a short, relaxing trip to Florida to visit family.  And to eat mango key lime pie, apparently. (Never had mango key lime pie before this trip, but it was AWESOME.)  I got in late Tuesday night, and despite being tired all day yesterday, I had a hard time falling asleep last night.  This morning I felt all hungover from carbs, since I ate a bunch of them yesterday.

I went shopping at the outlets while I was in Florida and got a bunch of cute clothes, but I also got a couple of nice work dresses that don't quite fit.  The store didn't have the next size up, but my aunt encouraged me to get the dresses anyway, assuring me they look really cute.  Well, maybe they do, but they're a little tight for my comfort. 

I know I've said this many times, but I'm tired of being this size and I'm tired of feeling so lethargic.  I want to look like the swimmer I am.  I don't want anyone to discount what I can do because of my size.  I also don't want to be held back anymore because of my size.  I've reached that point where I don't want pictures taken of me, and I feel self-conscious all the time.  I hate this.

For some reason, it's been a lot harder to stick to my more extreme diet challenges in the 4 1/2 years since I got married.  Before I got married, I used to cut out sugar and soda pretty regularly.  I used to eat no unhealthy foods except for one splurge day per month. 

Somehow, it's a lot harder to stick to when I'm cooking for more than myself, and when Jason's over there downing the Diet Cokes with lime.  I'm not in any way blaming him!  Don't think that.  I know I have the will power to get over the cravings hump, and I know how much better I feel when I do.  But it's easier to justify eating the crap when someone else isn't trying not to eat it.

What it comes down to is that I'm basically sick of feeling like I do right now.  Kind of tired.  Kind of headachey.  Kind of lame for not getting up to swim this morning. 

Tomorrow is a new month AND it's a 30-day month.  Perfect!  June will be my time to shine.

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