Let's Do This!

Alright, I'm sick of half-a**ing this.  I'm biting the bullet and doing a Paleo Whole30, starting tomorrow.  (See, 'cause there are 30 days in June).

I just got back from a short, relaxing trip to Florida to visit family.  And to eat mango key lime pie, apparently. (Never had mango key lime pie before this trip, but it was AWESOME.)  I got in late Tuesday night, and despite being tired all day yesterday, I had a hard time falling asleep last night.  This morning I felt all hungover from carbs, since I ate a bunch of them yesterday.

I went shopping at the outlets while I was in Florida and got a bunch of cute clothes, but I also got a couple of nice work dresses that don't quite fit.  The store didn't have the next size up, but my aunt encouraged me to get the dresses anyway, assuring me they look really cute.  Well, maybe they do, but they're a little tight for my comfort. 

I know I've said this many times, but I'm tired of being this size and I'm tired of feeling so lethargic.  I want to look like the swimmer I am.  I don't want anyone to discount what I can do because of my size.  I also don't want to be held back anymore because of my size.  I've reached that point where I don't want pictures taken of me, and I feel self-conscious all the time.  I hate this.

For some reason, it's been a lot harder to stick to my more extreme diet challenges in the 4 1/2 years since I got married.  Before I got married, I used to cut out sugar and soda pretty regularly.  I used to eat no unhealthy foods except for one splurge day per month. 

Somehow, it's a lot harder to stick to when I'm cooking for more than myself, and when Jason's over there downing the Diet Cokes with lime.  I'm not in any way blaming him!  Don't think that.  I know I have the will power to get over the cravings hump, and I know how much better I feel when I do.  But it's easier to justify eating the crap when someone else isn't trying not to eat it.

What it comes down to is that I'm basically sick of feeling like I do right now.  Kind of tired.  Kind of headachey.  Kind of lame for not getting up to swim this morning. 

Tomorrow is a new month AND it's a 30-day month.  Perfect!  June will be my time to shine.

Choosing Sleep

This week I have been choosing sleep over working out.  All this really means is I need to get to bed earlier.  Which means in bed by 10, asleep by 10:30.  It doesn't help that Jason is a night owl and I kind of feel lame going to bed so early.  But I have to if I'm going to work out regularly.

I didn't go to strength training yesterday and I didn't swim this morning.  However, today is the first day in a long time that I haven't felt like I could lay my head down on my desk and fall right to sleep.  So maybe I've finally caught up with my sleep deprivation.  Tomorrow I can go to strength training and get back on a good schedule for me and my exercising.

I know I need to get enough sleep.  Just yesterday, I was listening to another report about how lack of sleep raises cortisol levels.  Cortisol is the stress hormone that in primitive times was a signal to our bodies about external stressors.  For example, famine.  Or saber-toothed tigers.

Too much cortisol prevents weight loss and will even cause you to gain weight, as your body tries to prepare for whatever stressful situation it might face, since obviously something's wrong, or you wouldn't be producing so much cortisol. 

What this tells me is I can eat well and wake up early to get to the gym, but if I'm not going to sleep early enough, I'm fighting a losing battle.  Sigh.  It's so hard to get everyone right.

Fashion Motivation

Seriously, I need to lose weight.  Just look at this coat!  It is beautiful and I need a new wool coat for work in the worst way.  The one I've used for the last several winters is literally falling apart.  In fact, I planned to get a new one before the most recent winter, but decided my coat could make it through one more year.

Because of the styling of this lovely coat, it might fit me if I bought it in an XL.  But the largest size is an L.  If I was, say, 30 pounds lighter (or several inches narrower), I'm sure an L would be fine.

Sigh.  I want to be able to wear the pretty clothes...

Motivational Poster

A couple of ladies who read my blog over on SparkPeople said they really liked my comment "It's always better to show up at the pool."  One of them suggested we put it into a cross stitch sampler.  So of course in between projects today, I Googled cross stitch sampler design sites. 

Well, I didn't find one, but I did find a motivational poster design site.  Then I found a picture of a lap pool.  I specifically looked for a picture from the viewpoint of when you're about to dive in and start swimming. 

Then I made this:

Usually I don't like those motivational posters, but this is one I can get behind.

Learning Lessons

This morning my alarm went off and I was well aware that I had only had about 6 1/2 hours of fitful sleep.  I drank some Diet Coke in the evening to get me through a late work meeting, but I think it made my sleep too light.

I argued with myself for awhile about why it would be better to sleep than to get up for Masters swimming.  Plus, I wouldn't have to deal with Weird Guy if I didn't swim.  Ultimately, I talked myself into getting up.  I reminded myself that usually I feel better as soon as I get up.  Plus, there are only a few more Masters sessions left before our coach moves away, and I want to get in as many coached sessions as I can.

So I dragged myself out of bed, and even though I wasn't feeling any more awake by the time I walked from the locker room to the pool, I was there, and that's what counts.  I figured if I was slow today, I could always go last, right?

As soon as I got in the water and started my warm up, I felt a million times better.  Plus, Weird Guy didn't show today!  I wound up swimming with the two women who my pace is closest to and we all had a great workout.  We're very good at pushing one another.

Today I was able to remind myself that it's ALWAYS better to show up at the pool.

In the Trash With You!

Stupidest reason ever to cut a lunch walk short: my tights gradually sliding over my bum and down my legs.

That's it, these are going in the trash as soon as I get home.  This is the 3rd time I've worn them, and the 3rd time I've almost had a wardrobe malfunction.

I planned to walk for an hour, but halfway in, I realized that the tights would soon be around my knees and I should probably head back to the office.  There is no casual way to yank up tights in public.  If I could remember where I bought this particular pair, I would never buy them again.

Recent Treats

I've been on a quest for yummy treats with a Paleo angle and have found a couple I thought I would share.

Spiced Carrot Cake: This is so good!  I don't know if Jason liked it as much, but I thought it was just sweet enough without being too cloying.  I'm not even a big carrot cake fan, but I liked this recipe a lot.  I tried making the coconut cream too, but it didn't work for some reason.  It didn't come together nicely like in the recipe.

Also, I learned the hard way that a really good way to clog the kitchen sink is to pour the failed coconut cream down the drain.  Coconut oil clogs pipes.  And good.  Oops.

Anyway, I made a little glaze out of powdered sugar and water.  Not paleo with the powdered sugar, but it was a light glaze.  Maybe I could experiment next time with maple syrup-sweetened whipped cream...

Apple Crisp:  We got a bunch of apples in our winter farm share, but they were obviously from last fall's harvest because they were a little mealy.  Good for baking, though!  This was great AND it even had a nice crunchy crust.  I used maple syrup instead of the agave nectar, but I think honey might have been even better for getting a crunchy crust.

And in a not-so-sweet vein, last night I made a crock pot turkey breast for dinner.  This is the third time I've made it, and it's fabulous!  I don't remove the skin and after it's done cooking, I bake it in the oven at 350 for 20-30 minutes, or until the skin browns.  So.  Good.