Monday, July 31, 2006


When I don't eat breakfast and I have something small for lunch it's really esy to justify a big huge mother dinner. Or when I eat no breakfast it's easy to gorge myself at lunch and then justify not eating any or little dinner. This does not for healthy eating make and I can feel it in th snugness of my jeans. Sadness.

This coming week I have to spend every spare second in the evening packing for my move on Saturday. However, next week I'm getting back on the elliptical bandwagon. As easy as it is to say I don't really care, the truth is I DO care. I hate the way I feel when I eat badly and don't work out. I hate knowing that I'm not getting smaller anymore. So I guess I'm back on the wagon.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Explain this to me. Same store.

First item: size 12 dress with cardigan. Looks like a dumpy sack on me, thrillingly thinking I need a 10 (which they don't have).

Second item: size 16 skirt. Too tight on my bum to zip up.

Seriously, people, could we get some consistency with the sizing?

Monday, July 24, 2006

Last Week

Thursday: 50 minutes of elliptical
Friday: 45 minutes of elliptical
Saturday: 50 minutes of elliptical

Food all week long: Meh. Nothing earth-shatteringly bad, but nothing really great either. Although I took a positive step and bought some strawberries and peaches at Whole Foods on Saturday. Yum!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Darn You, Wendy's!

FYI, don't go to Wendy's on K between 17th and 18th. They put hair in their food.


There it was, right smack dab in the middle of my favorite salad. Where else but Wendy's can you get a yummy salad for less than $5? The Mandarin Chicken Salad is perfection, as far as I am concerned. Very minimalist. None of these cherry tomatoes or onions or peppers gunking up the works. Yes, I know, lots of people like cherry tomatoes and onions and peppers, but I don't. It's like the salad was tailor-made for me. Just lettuce, mandarin oranges, almond slivers and sesame sticks with a yummy Asian-esque dressing.

Not to mention that Wendy's is my favorite fast food place. I love the Frosties and the fries when I'm bad, the salads when I'm good. If they ever brought back the Chicken Caesar Pita I think I'd cry with joy. And now the Wendy's near work is ruined for me. Ruined!


Friday, July 14, 2006

Where Have I Been?

I think the status of this blog kind of reflects the status of my whole weight loss endeavor. As of late the issue of weight loss has garnered nothing more than a big fat, "Meh" from me. I mean, I still look at my overly-rounded body and cellulite and wish it would all just go away, but I'm not feeling all inspired anymore to make it happen.

I worked out 3 times this week and since I'm in Boston for the rest of the week that will be it, unless we go swimming at Walden Pond, which I'm trying to talk Jason into doing, in which case if I swim around a whole bunch maybe I can count that as a smidge of exercise. I worked out 2 times last week because I was out of town until mid-week and then had to work a lot to make up hours. I plan to work out 4 or 5 times next week.

Of couse, considering it's supposed to be something insane like 110 heat-indexed degrees in Boston on Sunday and Jason has no AC, I may just be sweating off all my excess weight this weekend.

I really do like the working out, particularly on the evenings when TBS is showing two episodes of Friends and I completely lose track of how long I've been ellipticalling because it's the one where everyone finds out about Monica and Chandler and Phoebe cracks me up. I lke the endorphins. I like feeling fit and achey and powered-up and exhausted to the core in that great post-workout way.

However, my desire to eat heatlhy is just not there right now. I've been eating sushi and salads for dinner and cutting way back on the carbs (like eating the buld-your-own barbecue chicken sandwich provided by the caterer at work with no bun and only a smidge of barbecue sauce). However, I've also snagged a corner of a brownie here and there just because they look good and I have the munchies and I'm bored bored bored at work. On the days when I'm out and about running errands or being social with friends, I don't even realize when I haven't eaten. All of a sudden my stomach is growling lke crazy and it occurs to me that on a normal day I would have eaten three hours earlier.

Usually during the summer I am all about the fruit and the veggies and the healthy eating because it's all light and cool and lovely for the summer months. I want hearty/fattening foods more during the winter when I'm all wrapped up in bulky sweaters and coats anyway. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by air conditioning all the time now, both at work and at home, that the desire to keep my food light and fresh isn't there this year.

Or maybe I'm just bored and unmotivated with it all. I know I will never be a size 6. Today at Ann Taylor Loft I bought 2 medium shirts. I bought a size 14 skirt at Old Navy and one at H&M. There is a large part of my brain that is thinking that here I am, almost 30, needing to find some direction in my life career-wise, and I feel like maybe this really is the best I can do with my body because I'm just feeling tired of it all. Maybe my thighs will always be cellulitey and I'll always be trying to hide my stomach roll. I haven't been satisfied with my body since I was 10 years old. So basically I've been beating myself up about how I look for two-thirds of my life.

That's a lot of energy I've devoted to feeling crappy about myself.

Maybe I need to shift my focus. I like working out. I don't like bingeing on bad food. Well, that's kind of a lie. I like it WHILE I'm eating that half a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Afterwards I'm not so thrilled. So maybe for right now, while I'm working my boring job and am never at home to prepare a meal and am moving in two weeks, maybe I need to just go to the gym and eat well and not beat myself up for every little slip-up, imagining each bite of ice cream attaching itself visibly to my hips like in those Nutri Grain bar commercials.

My waist measures less than 35 inches and I have a low resting heart rate (54-60) so I'm not really concerned about my heart-health. I know that I am muscley so if I was just solely flab I'd probably weigh 10-20 pounds less than I do. Maybe not that much, but less anyway.

I need to figure out a way to be healthy and to not be mad at myself for my unhealthy moments. I need to figure out how to be healthy without it feeling like such a chore. I need to figure out a way to avoid the brownie when I'm bored in my office and my little brain decides to focus on the brownie calling to me from the kitchen (or the Frosty calling to me from Wendy's).

Monday, July 10, 2006

New Favorite Thing

My new favorite thing in the world, at 160 calories per little plastic cup, is the McDonald's Fruit and Yogurt Parfait. It's so yummy! And only one dollar!

I was thinking that I could do this so much easier and cheaper myself. Get some Stonyfield Farms yogurt (my favorite now that I can't ever find Alta Dena anywhere, which is sweetened with fruit juice), some low fat granola or Grap Nuts, and some fresh or frozen fruit. Voila! If I ever actually make it to a grocery store, because I work 12-hour days this week and am going out of town this weekend, I'll have to pick up my own mixings for this concoction.

One complaint: the blueberries have kind of a funky texture. The strawberries are great though.